A New Year's Post

I am dog sitting for family from church this week. This morning I was out at 5:30 walking the dog before I left for work. It was still dark, cold and very quiet. It snowed almost 5 cm over night and the dog and I were the first to walk through it. The quiet crunch crunch crunch of my footsteps broke through the stillness, but in that muted way that happens when everything is covered in snow - like it absorbs all the world's noise.

Since it is New Year's Eve walking through this fresh blanket of snow put me in a reflective mood. I had a good year in 2008. It was full of adventure, friends, comings and goings. I left some friends, made new ones and reconnected with old ones. I learned a lot about myself, the world, God, my family. It was a good year. Now 2009 stretches before us, not unlike the fresh blanket of white snow. It has yet to be disturbed and we don't know what it hides. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has planned for the next year although I am hesitant to leave the comfort of this past year. Today is my last day with WV- at least as far as I know. My contract is over and there isn't the budget to renew it. There are a couple of opportunities on the horizon but nothing definite and everything is a maybe. More on that another day. So 2009 holds a lot of the unknown for me. It is a little scary and nerve wracking but I have learned from the past that God has a path and he is leading me on it. At the moment it is covered in snow so I can't see where it is leading but I trust that He knows and that it is Good.

Wishing you all a Year full of blessings and peace.
Laura

Big Brother is watching - Shout out to Maria...

Short post because I think its funny. I use a service called blogpatrol that keeps track of how many people have looked at my blog and how they found it. Now, I realize that I am not a hightraffic blog so I don't check this very often but it is neat to see how people are finding my blog and where they are from. Most people who read my blog use firefox instead of Internet Explorer and I have had people from Italy, Turkey, the UK, the US, Rwanda, South Africa and of course Canada look at my blog. They have used google searches for "mushanana dress", "african skies" and "Canadian Politics" which have led them to my humble little blog. Most of the time I have no way of figuring out who is looking at my blog when and from where. I just don't pay that much attention, but twice now my friend Andrea's name has been used in a google search to find my blog using the same IP address. Maria is that you? Hope things are good in Otown! See you at Christmas!

Snowflakes that fall on my nose and eyelashes

... These are a few of my favourite things!

1) Baking. I haven't done much of this recently since when you bake something, someone needs to eat it and I no longer have roommates or people on my floor to eat what I make. Today I have already baked two batches of bread and I'm starting some biscotti and it is only 10:30 am!

2) Christmas. It is almost here! Advent at much church this year has been great and I am loving all the snow and lights and music. Last weekend at my small group Christmas party we ate good food, sang carols and then listened to a David and Marley Christmas story from Stewart McLean. Also, Christmas gives me an excuse to do lots of baking!

3) Checking things off my 'To Do' list. Sometimes I put things on my list I have already done, just so I can check them off. Today I didn't need to cheat as the list is long enough all by itself. In addition to baking I am doing Christmas cards, finishing a project for work (yes, in all of this I am still doing my job...)and I need to sharpen my skates and I am meeting a friend for 'coffee' over my lunch break.

4) Fridays. This doesn't really need any explanation. Fridays mark the end of the work week and the beginning of the weekend. I had a really good week, got lots of work done, spent time with friends and didn't get stranded anywhere or have any car problems. This weekend is going to be super busy with three Christmas parties, a family reunion and my regular weekend things like cleaning the house and going to the market.

5) The market. I go to the Kitchener Farmer's Market almost every weekend. It is like the St Jacob's market only smaller and there aren't as many touristy things. I can be in and out with all my fresh produce, meat and bread needs for the week met in about 30-45 minutes. I buy local, organic when possible and it is a fun place.

Extended Christmas Vacay for Parliament

I am disapointed in the Governor General. I would love to know what was said in that two hour meeting to convince her that proroguing a Parliament session two weeks after it started was a good idea. It was interesting to hear Harper's song change a little though when he addressed the media. He talked alot more about cooperation and working together than he has in a long time. I guess we have to wait until January to see if he is sincere.

I had the CBC news streaming on my computer this morning while I was working so I could listen to the commentary and listen in on such a historical event in our country's political landscape. It was very entertaining though to hear them commenting on the doors. The cameras were set up in front of Government House and were trained on the front doors waiting for the Prime Minister to come out.I had the video minimized so I didn't have the visual but was listening while I worked. It was comical. The doors are opening, oh now they're closingandthey're open again...now they're closed. They're open.Closed. And on and on for the better part of an hour.

I am looking forward to seeing what happens in January. As much as I am not a fan of the Conservatives, I don't want a coalition just for the sake of a coalition. Although it does liven things up. If Harper can work together with the other parties and can regain the trust of the House legitimately then let him continue as the government. I will continue to dislike the Conservative policies and approaches but if the man can do that then he deserves a certain amount of respect. However, if he won't cooperate, if he continues to spout lies and act in a divisive, partisan manner and does not start working for the good of all Canadians then I will welcome a coalition government and be very excited to support it. It has the potential to change the way in which our Parliament is run and the way in which the parties work in our country. At the very least it has the potential of getting on with the work that needs to be done.

Bring on the Coalition!

So much to post about! First, a note that World AIDS day was on Monday December 1. I will try to post more about this in the next couple of days but the political excitement gets priority in this post.

Anyone who know me well, or who spoke with me at all in the weeks leading up to the federal election in October, knows that I am not a fan of the Conservative Party of Canada. That may be putting it a little mildly. For many reasons I have disagreed with their policies and approaches in the past. I have held Prime Minister Harper in a certain amount of distain and looked at his policies with distrust. But never before have I felt such anger towards the Conservatives as I have in the past week.

Since the news broke about the Liberals and NDP forming a coalition with support from the Bloc Quebecois the Conservatives have been scrambling to hold on to power. They are not scrambling to defend their policies, nor are they trying to come out with new policies. Not really, and not as a priority. This became obvious in the Prime Minister’s Address to the Nation last night. Instead they are scrambling to destroy and discredit. Typical politics you may say, and maybe it is, but the lies and tactics being used to cast suspicion on the coalition and on the parties forming it make me beyond angry. The way in which the Conservative propaganda is confusing the issues has me yelling at the radio/tv/computer so that those around me begin to question my sanity.

Most Canadians don't understand their own political system. We get so much information about the American system that a lot of people assume ours works somehow in a similar way. It doesn't. But this confusion and ignorance (sorry, harsh word but it is) has allowed the Conservatives to make accusations and that are unfounded and untrue but many people are accepting it as truth.

First of all, the Harper has called the coalition 'undemocratic' and 'illegitimate.' It is neither. Conservatives talk about their mandate to govern given to them by the voters. This is not how it works. We live in a Parliamentary Democracy. This means we elect members of parliament for our ridings and these members form the House. We do not elect a leader and if you vote with the leader in mind that is your issue. That is not how our system was designed. You elect your representative, the person who is supposed to represent your riding’s interests. The only mandate given is to individual MPs, not to any government. The Parliament forms the government - the government is not elected.

So when Prime Minister Harper talks about the mandate given to him by the Canadian People he is misrepresenting our system and how it works. The only people to give him a mandate are the members of his own constituency in Calgary. My own riding, despite my vote, went Conservative Party this time around. So my member of parliament is Conservative. He has the mandate of our riding to represent us as a member of the Conservative Party. That is it.

The second thing that Harper has been doing is over emphasizing the role of the Bloc in this coalition. He uses the word “Separatist” over and over. He is trying to play on the fear of English Canadians, especially in the west, and in the process is further strengthening the divide between East and West and between Francophone and Anglophone in our country. He seems to forget that the Bloc is a legitimate party who represents the votes of thousands of Canadians. He is also misrepresenting the nature of the relationship between the Bloc and the Coalition in order to spread fear. The propaganda is full of fear-mongering and divisive language.

The Bloc is not a part of the coalition. Thankfully the media is pointing out this misrepresentation but this does not stop the Conservatives from spouting off about a deal with the Devil and getting into bed with Separatists. The Coalition is between the Liberal Party and the NDP. This means that the Liberals and the NDP will make the decisions. The cabinet will be made up of members from these two parties. The Liberals and the NDP will fill the seats on the government side of the House. The Bloc will not have a seat in cabinet. They will not be on the government side of the House. No Senate seats have been promised and the Bloc will not have anymore power than it does now. All the Bloc has done is promised not to bring down the government in a vote of confidence for the next 18 months. This means that if the coalition is allowed to go forward and govern the Bloc will vote along with the coalition on the budget and other major pieces of legislation. This lends stability to the government and allows the Parliament to work on the business of the country. The Bloc can, and probably will, vote down other bills put forward in the House. The Conservatives have been quick to make accusations and call names but it has come out that they have proposed similar deals with the Bloc in 2000 and in 2006. I guess it was OK to make a deal with the devil when it was to their benefit, but now that it threatens their hold on power it is equal to treason or sedition.

Now, in about ten minutes, Prime Minister Harper is going to meet with the Governor General, presumably to ask for the Parliament to be prorogued. This essentially means that Parliament would be suspended but not dissolved until near the end of January. This would allow Harper to avoid the vote of non-confidence on Monday that would topple the government but it also means that nothing can get done. Nothing can be passed; no action can be taken. In “these tough economic times” to borrow a phrase from Opera, we can’t have a parliament with their hands tied. I would rather go back to the polls than have the parliament take what is basically an extended break. I hope the GG will go against the norm and not listen to the advice of the Prime Minister. He needs to either prove he has the confidence of the House or let someone who does go about the business of governing.

Canadian Politics just got interesting....

I am at work so I can't post much, but I feel like a child on Christmas morning. I am so excited about the possibility of a coalition government! This is the most exciting thing to happen in Canadian Politics since.... well for a long time!!! People should pay attention and get informed so they understand what is happening. Agree with it or not, I don't care, but get informed and have an opinion people!

Two posts in one day! I had to share. Most of this is taken from an email I wrote to a friend complaining about my day. My day has been...what is a good word? Interesting. Yes, we'll go with that as it avoids any profanity. As far as work goes, it has been a normal day. I've read some stuff, written some stuff, gone to a meeting or two, and generally been a good worker. But then things started to go wrong.

At 1:00 it occured to me that I hadn't seen my carpool partner all day. This would not usually concern me since I drive in with my carpool partner and know that he is somewhere around. However, I stayed at a friend's last night and took Big City Transit to work this morning, so I have no way of knowing if carpool guy is indeed somewhere or not. Later in conversation with someone in carpool guy's department I find out that no, he is not here. He didn't come in today.

Soooo, my ride didn't come to work, which means he won't be going home from work, so how am I supposed to get home from work?

Normally I could get a ride with the other carpool that goes to My Town but they had no room. Then carpool guy was going to drive in to pick something up from the office and then take me home. Problem solved. At 2:45 carpool guy calls to tell me that he is sicker than he thought and can't drive to get me. He has found me a ride to Town Near My Town that is not My Town and that ride will leave sometime after 5pm and I have been here since 7:30am. This has been a LONG DAY. Also, there are no buses between My Town and Town Near My Town... So I am bribing my dad to come and get me. I may get home before 7:30pm.

All this to say, I wish I had a car.

Of Advent and Waiting

In years past I have complained about how early the fuss about Christmas starts. It has always bothered me that as soon as the Halloween candy is put away Christmas decorations are on the shelves and television commercials start trying to sell you things that no one actually needs. This used to make me bitter, and the Christmas after I was in South Africa it traumatized me a little bit. All the consumerism and crazy hustle and bustle of the “season” was a little overwhelming.

On many levels it still does both embitter and traumatize. But this year is different. This year I was excited to see the Christmas decorations and I have started listening to Christmas music already, well before my usual December 1st rule. I am excited about all things Christmas. Eggnog lattes, candy cane fudge crackle ice cream, nativity scenes, lights, trees, cheesy songs and lots of snow (at least when I’m not driving in it) make me extremely happy. I can’t quite explain it.

I am not doing much shopping this year since I have already bought my family tickets to The Sound of Music for Christmas and there aren’t many other people on my list. So I get to avoid the malls and not get stressed by the parking lots, crazy shoppers and general insanity. I still give the television evil looks on occasion when a particularly stupid commercial comes on trying to sell me a Sham-wow! or something equally ridiculous, but in general I am much more gracious in my attitudes and can simply change the channel. I am not letting the perversions of the season ruin it this year.

I am especially excited about advent. I have this craving for liturgy and responsive prayers and hymns and candles. Just the thought of it makes me happy. My church, awesome and amazing in every other way, has moved away from advent for some reason and being Mennonite it has never been much into liturgy. So I will try to get my high church fix somewhere else. Advent is a time of waiting, of expectation. Like creation holds its breath for the four weeks before Christmas. This is how I am feeling too.

God Bless us, every one!

Lunch with Mama Chantal

One of the benefits of working for a christian organization is that we have time set aside in our work days for team, department and small group devotions and once a week we gather as a whole organization for chapel. Sometimes these chapel are long and boring, other times they are cheesy or make me cringe for some reason. Other times they are really really good. Yesterday's was one of these. I will probably talk more about it in a future post, but one thing that the speaker James Cantelon said was that the most generous people on the planet are those who make less than one dollar a day. This sparked a memory for me and I've been thinking about it since yesterday so it is time for another story from Rwanda.

I think it was a Thursday, but I am not certain. Maybe it was a Monday. I had gotten another of those sms' from my boss indicating that I was to work from home.Since I had no real work that I could do from home I tagged along with Pip. We went to visit one of the women from the HIV/AIDS support group that Pip worked with. I had met this woman's daughter Chantal, who helps at the friday street kids lunches and I had heard stories from Pip and our friend Enoch about the family. I was looking forward to spending more time with them. The three of us walked to a small house part way down a hill a little ways from the centre of the city. We went in through a small gated opening into a small, clean courtyard where clothes were hanging and there were pots over a fire. We were invited into the house where we sat on benches against the wall in the small entry way which served as dining room, homework room, and living room. With Pip, Enoch and I with Charles, the youngest boy, Chantal and her mother it was crowded but cozy. My knees almost touched Pip's knees as she sat across from me. We had come with some small gifts for Charles and Chantal, some food and to pray with them. I wasn't expecting anything from them at all but as we sat down Mama Chantal brought out huge plates of food that had been prepared especially for us. There was rice, fries, beans and so much good food. We each ate from shared plates and there weren't enough utensils for all of us, but we made do. There were avocados and when Mama Chantal found out how much I love avocados (mmmmm...)she offered to get me some from the market the next day. We sat around talking with Enoch translating, we laughed a lot and continued eating. When I thought we had finished, Mama Chantal brought out another plate full of food. Such a yummy feast! When we could eat no more we prayed together. I thought I understood faith; I thought I understood prayer. I learned again what it looks like to actually depend on God, and to expect that your prayers will be answered. This family had so little and had to struggle to make sure they had enough food and that school fees were paid. We came to bless and help them, and we did. The smiles from Charles over the hat and soccer ball we broght him were bright and watching him share with the other kids made me smile too. But their generousity and the way they welcomed us into their home and shared their lives with us - I will carry that day in my heart for a long time.

Are you dancing?

Once, there was a small group of kids who decided to go to a park in the middle of the city and dance and play, laugh and twirl. As they played in the park, they thought that maybe another child would pass by and see them.
Maybe that child would think it looked fun and even decide to join them. Then maybe another one would. Then maybe a businessman would hear them from his skyscraper. Maybe he would look out the window. Maybe he would see them playing and lay down his papers and come down. Maybe they could teach him to dance.
Then maybe another businessman would walk by, a nostalgic man, and he would take off his tie and toss aside his briefcase and dance and play.
Maybe the whole city would join the dance.
Maybe even the world.
Maybe...Regardless, they decided to enjoy the dance.

Shane Claiborne, Irresistable Revolution

History in the making...

I am sitting at work listening to Jesu, Joy of Man's Desire sung by Celtic Women and Hlohonolofatsa, a zulu praise song,sung by the ASBC male chorus (I can't find the Soweto Gospel Choir version on youtube). These songs always makes me happy - if you haven't heard them you should. I am listening to happy music and thinking that it is a very good day. You can almost feel the world releasing a pent up breathe we didn't even know we were holding. Barak Obama is the president elect of the U.S. Not only is he the first black man to be elected which is exciting in itself, but he is someone you actually want to believe in. He inspires one to dream and to think of new possibilities in a way that no one else has in my lifetime. People around the world are looking at him with expectation and hope that he can turn things around. The world has hope of being better. I think there is danger in putting so much hope in one person but it feels like the sun is rising on a world that has been waiting for a new day. It is not just Obama the person, it is the change and the hunger for change that he represents. It is a good day!

Fridays in Kigali

While I was in Rwanda I would often wake up to an SMS (a.k.a. text message) from my boss saying that there was a problem with the days program so I should just work from home. I often work from home now that I am back in Canada but in Rwanda I didn’t have any work to do from home. That was not the nature of my job. So these frequent messages were a source of frustration for me a lot of the time. I was in Rwanda to work; I was there to learn how to “do development.” How could I do this if I was at home? But looking back some of my favourite days were these days when I was supposed to be working from home.
My roommate Pip was working with International Teams and on these days I would sometimes join in with whatever she was doing. Fridays were the best. On Fridays we would walk down the hill to Eglise Vivante and help the mamas make lunch for the street kids. Vivante and IT partnered in a street kids ministry and on Friday there was a large lunch served for about 100-200 of these kids. Pip and I would arrive between 9 and 10am to help with the meal. I think in some ways I was not so much of a help as a source of entertainment for the mamas but it was a great time. Chopping cabbage, picking stones out of rice, washing plates, peeling bananas – I never managed to any of this as quickly or as well as they did but I got better every week. The food is cooked over open fires in the church courtyard. Nothing smells as good as Tanzanian rice cooking over an open fire on a Friday morning. While the food cooked we would sit and socialize, sampling some of the food, especially the sauté – essentially fries but the entire potato is put in the oil. Oh so good! It was always fun to talk with these women. I practiced my VERY limited Kinya-rwanda and learned new words, spoke French and translated for Pip and just listened to conversation and laughter. Such a warm place to be! I can still hear Chantal telling Pip to “EAT MEAT” and Mama Francine and Mama Deborah’s laughter and teasing. When the food was cooked we would load it up on plates in an assembly line. I usually did the sauté or the sauce. Pip would steal pieces of sauté and present them as gifts to the other women and we would tease Manou that he was getting ‘so big’ because of all the fries he ate. Finally we would have all the food served out on plates and could let the kids into the courtyard. They would file in and wash their hands with the buckets set out and get in a group. They knew the drill and though for the outside observer it seemed like utter chaos there was a method to the madness. The plates would be distributed and the food would disappear with lightening speed. On my hungriest days I could not even eat half the amount of food that we would pile on those plates but these kids, even the smallest of them, would pack it away and if we could have been able to give them seconds they would have eaten that too.
I think one of the things I value most about these times was the relationship we built with the mamas at the church. As the time approached when both Pip and I would be leaving they planned a goodbye dinner for us. We met at one of their homes and had a feast. They taught us how to cook some of the meal, although we were late so we missed out on some of it. Cooking chapatti on an open fire is harder than you might think! There was so much food. There was Chapatti, goat brochettes, fries, vegetables, salad, rice, pasta and every good thing. We were taking a group picture towards the end of the evening and for a reason that now escapes me we were trying to make fish faces for the picture. I have never laughed so hard. Tears streaming down my face, doubled over in laughter and almost in pain I remember looking into the eyes of Chantal and seeing her tears of laughter and hearing her laugh and all that made me laugh even harder. I have the pictures from that evening on the wall of my little cubicle here in Canada and they never fail to make me smile.

The GFCs

There has been a lot of talk in recent months about global crises. First was the fuel crisis, then the food crisis and now the financial crisis. One of my co-workers has pointed out that they can all be reduced to the easy acronym GFC. We love our acronyms in development work.

The level of concern about raising food prices has been interesting to me. This interest comes from a couple of angles. First, how many of us here in North America have really noticed the rising cost of food? When only about 10% of our budget is going to food it doesn't seem to matter too much if the cost of bread goes up by $1.50. Now 15% of our budget goes to food. Now, imagine that food took up 85% or more of your budget. You would notice pretty quickly the difference that $1.50 makes in your ability to pay school fees, buy medicine, pay rent and buy clothes.
This leads me to the other reason I find all this attention interesting. I think the rising food prices first started getting media attention this past spring. The higher fuel prices increased transport costs; the increasing middle class in countries like China and India and the resulting increase in demand for meat; increased of "food" being used for non-food products such as biofuel; crop failures, desertification, soil erosion, climate change. All these factors have been given credit for causing this Global Food Crisis, and they are all valid points. But it all happened all of a sudden and only when people in urban centres in the developed world started to feel the effects. It seems like it all happened overnight. But it has been happening slowly and persistently for the people in the two-thirds world. It has been happening for a long time for the 800 million people who go without enough food every day.

Now we add another GFC, the Global Financial Crisis. With the market tanking and the economy grinding to a near halt people are justified in their concern. I don't want to belittle the jobs that have been or will be lost or the retirement savings that have disappeared. These are terrible things and we are living in difficult times. But I am afraid of what this will mean for the poor, both in our own country and around the world. Governments will be so busy bailing out industry and banks. Reduced personal and family incomes will lead to a reduction in spending. We see it already. My fear is that this will come at the expense of the poor. The provincial government is already talking about less spending on health and education. My organization is already talking about "belt-tightening" measures as we anticipate a drop in donations and sponsorships.

This topic has come up several times this week and in my thinking it over I came across this posted on a blog I read occasionally http://zenpeacekeeping.typepad.com. It is a joint statement made by World Vision International, Oxfam International, Amnesty International, Plan International and Greenpeace. It is a little long, but it is a good summary of what this crisis could mean for the poor.

Billions in bailouts for the wealthy

Last week the US government provided another bailout of $37.8 billion to the giant insurance company, AIG, bringing the total of rescue loans to that one company in the last two weeks to nearly $123 billion. This is $18 billion more than the annual amount of aid to poor countries and twice that needed to achieve the internationally agreed Millennium Development Goals. In Europe the bailouts have continued. The UK government has thrown in a further £50 billion to recapitalise the UK banking sector - which is roughly what's needed for poor countries to adapt to climate change each year.
The urgency shown by rich countries to tackle the financial meltdown stands in stark contrast to their foot-dragging and broken promises over aid and poverty alleviation, human rights and climate change.
It is too soon yet to predict exactly how badly the poorest countries will fare in the financial crisis and resulting economic downturn. But it is clear that reduced demands for exports to developed countries and lower foreign investment will mean less growth and government revenue for already-fragile social protection and services.
For millions of the world's poorest citizens, it is literally a matter of life and death. In many countries social safety nets were dismantled under pressure from international financial institutions, leaving the vulnerable unprotected. In late September, while Wall Street was reeling from its financial failures in the glare of publicity, a meeting organized by the United Nations in another part of Manhattan revealed that very few governments will meet the targets set by the Millennium Development Goals to reduce poverty by 2015, and that rising food and energy prices have wiped away much of the progress made so far.
The human rights prognosis is not good. Not only are economic and social rights - including the right to housing, health and education - coming under increased pressure, there is a risk of more human rights violations. As the economy shrinks and countries tighten their belts, migrants and refugees could be pushed back to untenable situations. Social tensions could increase, leading nervous governments to clamp down on dissent and impose tough public security policies, curbing civil liberties. Already fragile states could be further weakened by the current crisis and slide back into instability and violence.
Worse could follow if rich countries decide to use the financial crisis as an excuse to cut aid and trade. History gives us cause for concern. During the 1972/3 recession, global aid spending fell by 15 per cent to just $28.8 billion. In 1990/3, aid donors slashed their spending by 25 per cent over a five-year period to $46 billion, and aid did not return to 1992 levels until 2003. Humanitarian aid - what we spend to help people hit by natural disasters and conflict - also fell sharply and over a similar time as a direct result of the 1990-3 recession (only the years of the Rwanda and Kosovo conflicts bucked that trend). In terms of trade, for instance, countries reacted to the 1929 Wall Street crash and global depression by erecting tariff barriers and world trade fell by two-thirds.
A replay of that in 2009 would be a disaster for poor exporting countries. Reduced aid and trade flows could mean that the people in the poorest countries pay the highest price for the profligacy of the credit bubble in North America and Europe.
Human rights are not a luxury for good times. Inaction in the face of climate change is not a viable option. Global poverty does nothing for global stability. Rich countries will be following a myopic and self-defeating strategy if they ignore the most pressing challenges of our times and focus solely on narrow financial interests.
This is not just about money. It is about sustained attention, international collaboration and clear political will to tackle big issues. The signs of concerted action by the G7 finance ministers and the Eurozone finance ministers to address the financial crisis are welcome but they are not enough. Governments must reduce the volatility in energy prices, food prices and the financial markets by ensuring sensible regulation, adequate protection for the rights of poor and vulnerable people, and long-term environmental sustainability. Governments must show decisive leadership to build a global economy that is green and where better lives and livelihoods for all is more important than a system that rewards a privileged few.

Joint statement from:
Dr. Dean Hirsch, Chief Executive Officer, World Vision International
Irene Khan, Secretary General, Amnesty International
Jeremy Hobbs, Executive Director, Oxfam International
Tom Miller, Chief Executive Officer, Plan International
Gerd Leipold, International Executive Director, Greenpeace

Since everyone else is doing it....

from http://wordle.net

memories of byumba

Sitting in the office today I was thinking about how quickly time goes by. It was just over a year ago today that I arrived in Rwanda. A couple stories came to mind so I am going to record them over the next couple of posts.

In February my boss Apollo and I ran some training workshops for the program I worked on. These workshops were each three days long and were attended by local WV Rwanda staff. The first two days were spent learning new concepts, going over some practical ways of applying and using the concepts and planning how they could be integrated into the way the participants were currently working in their communities. The last day of the workshop was reserved for a field visit where the participants would try to put the new concepts into context. We did a number of these workshops so each of these field visits looked different.

While in the Northern Region we were running a training workshop in the town of Byumba. The town sits along the top ridge of a mountain and spreads down the steep terraced slopes. It is cold in Byumba, one of the highest points in the country. On a clear day you can see green hills stretching forever towards the Ugandan border. On the third day of this workshop we were planning to split our participants into two groups for the field visit. Each group had 8 people. One group went to visit some cooperatives that the participants had been working with and Apollo went with them. My group was going to visit another cooperative in a village 'nearby.' First everyone, both groups, went down the mountain to a local WV office in a nearby community. The other group left in the minibus while my group was left with our pickup truck to wait for our other transportation. It turns out there was a miscommunication regarding transport so we had to go in two shifts in the hilux to the village we were supposed to be visiting. From the way my colleagues were talking I thought it was just down the road. I even asked if we could walk but this suggestion was met with weird looks and a couple of laughs.
I was in the first group to go. We drove down the main road weaving past rice paddies and tea fields. Rwanda has a good network of main roads so this part of the drive was paved. We turned off the main road after about ten kilometers and drove down a gravel road through a tea plantation. I had never seen a tea plantation before so I was interested to see what it was all about. All I could see were acres and acres of tea leaves in the valley and climbing the sides of the mountains. After about five kilometers my colleagues directed my driver off the gravel road onto a path that winded and weaved its way up the mountain. The road fell away beside us and there were sections of the path where I was certain that our truck could not pass. I was pressed up against my side of the truck as if I could keep us from going over the edge. Didier, our driver, proved me wrong and navigated the tiny little path as if it were a three lane highway. I shouldn't have doubted as I had seen several times before how Didier could make the most frightening roads seem smooth.
Finally we arrived in the village nestled in a valley surrounded by terraced hills. Didier immediately turned back to get the second half of our group. While we waited for the rest of the group we sat down with leaders of the cooperative we had come to talk with. They were learning how to weave new patterns of baskets to sell to tourists and overseas. Talking with the women who were now able to send their children to school, who proudly showed their progress and were gaining confidence and dignity in the ability to provide for their families was humbling and encouraging. The rest of our group joined us and we talked how all our fancy concepts might fit into their contexts - this was all more for our participants than for the cooperative members. Then we sat back and just interacted with these people for a little while. Didier took one group of people back to the main road where we would meet back with the minibus and the rest of our participants. I stayed back to wait for the second trip and while we were sitting the kids got out of school and all walked past the compound where we were meeting. A couple noticed there was a mzungu and I became the centre of attention for a little while. The truck came back and we drove back up and then down that tiny path. This time my side of the truck was at the edge which caused me some concern at first. Then I got distracted by the beautiful landscapes surrounding me. Didier stopped a couple of times for me to take pictures ( I will try to add these to this post at some point) and eventually we joined the first group at the main road by the tea plantation. We waited here for the minibus so we could rejoin Apollo's group and go back to Byumba together. While we were waiting we bought some roasted maize from a vendor on the side of the road (mmmm) and shared it among the group. Even in the 'middle of nowhere' there are lots of people in Rwanda, being one of the most densely populated countries on the continent.
After a long wait Apollo arrived in the minibus and we piled in for the return to Byumba for the close of the workshop and dinner.

Did I say I was looking forward to winter?

I take it back!
I am FREEZING!

Settling in

Fall is here. The leaves have all turned deep red and vibrant yellow. The air has a crispness to it that warns that winter is coming soon. The world looks different in fall - the colours have a different quality to them. Summer's colours are deep and saturated. Spring's colours are new and soft. In Fall the colours look like the air feels - crisp and sharp. I had forgotten how much I love fall.
It feels like a long time since I had a fall in Ontario. Four falls in Manitoba, one in South Africa, one in Rwanda. There must have been one fall here in Ontario in there somewhere but I get all mixed up sometimes. Anyway, with this fall has come a sort of feeling of being settled. Not geographically, since I spent a week in Winnipeg and am now house sitting in Mississauga for a month, but still somehow I feel more anchored. I still want to be back in Rwanda, but I am less ants-in-the-pants about it, if that makes any sense. I feel calmer about being 'stuck' in Canada and I am more contented. For the first time I can honestly say that if my trip doesn't actually happen in January (as is looking more and more possible) that it will be ok. Not that I know what I will be doing with myself if I don't go back to Rwanda, I still don't have a job after Dec. 31, but it will be ok.
I am actually starting to look forward to the snow. Weird. I have gradually started to acclimatize to the cold mornings while I walk to the bus and although I know it is nothing like the cold that is coming, I feel like I'll be able to handle it and eventually get my 'Canadian blood' back. I am thinking about learning how to snowboard. Or at least taking up skiing again. I may break something but at least I'll be out enjoying the snow until I do. :) That being said I am sure there will be several 'I hate snow' posts to come this winter!

Don't forget to vote!!

We are so privileged that we can vote, that our voices can be heard. Whether anyone listens is another conversation, but we have the ability to speak up and have a say in the direction and decisions of our government.
I get tired of people saying their vote doesn't really count or that they are not informed enough to vote. Your vote doesn't count only if you don't cast it. Get informed - it isn't actually that hard. Get off facebook for a couple of minutes and read the platforms. Make a decision. I don't care who you vote for, (OK I do care, but I'll be your friend even if you do vote conservative) just as long as you vote.
So many people around the world do not have this privilege and are fighting to get it. People have struggled in history to make sure that we in Canada have this right. There are places around the world where people line up in droves, despite intimidation and threats, to cast their votes. Stop taking it for granted.
Go vote.

About Mornings

This perfectly describes how I felt this morning after being violently jerked awake 15 minutes before my ride arrived for our hour and a half commute through gross traffic in the dark because the sun was still asleep. Like I should have been.

Confirmed!

My flight is confirmed! I'm going to Winnipeg for a week September 23. Yahoo.

And all will be well...

A couple of months ago I posted about some possible opportunities that would take me back to Africa but then I haven't mentioned them since. That is because Chad was totally taken off the table due to the conflict in the country and to some issues within the organization there. The Rwanda position has been postponed and postponed and now has been put on hold. I have no idea what is going on with it and am not expecting much information anytime soon. This has been frustrating for me because I have been eager to get back into the field and back to Rwanda. Adding to my frustration has been the uncertainty of my position here. I was originally hired on a short term contract until the end of June but that was extended until the end of August. Well here we are at the end of August and this week started with me having no idea what was happening. There were discussions earlier in the month of extending my contract and ideas thrown around for what I could be working on but my boss and my boss' boss went into the field so not much was really decided. Yesterday I had an amazing day of fun work, good learning and challenging projects. It started with a beautiful sunrise that made leaving the house before dark a little more bearable, I got to help plan a training workshop and consulted on some things. It was great. Then at the end of the day I was informed that my contract would not be renewed so Friday was my last day.

Well by saying that in the past tense I guess I have revealed that Friday is no longer my last day. I was frustrated and confused and thinking I might have to cancel plans for my trip to the Peg. I was questioning what God was doing and getting annoyed because it seems like it has been impossible for me to make any sort of stable plan for my life. I'm not talking about a plan for my whole life or even a five year plan. I'm talking about the inability to make plans for the next month of my life because of the uncertainty about where I would be and what my financial and employment status would be. I know that God is faithful and I can see in hindsight how things have worked out in the past but that knowledge does not make the present any less frustrating to deal with. So this morning I was relieved to find out that in fact my contract had been extended so that I can finish the project I am working on. But only by a week. So one more week to figure out what is next, one week of extra pay. Good enough.

And then my day got better. I got back from lunch and was informed by my coworker that one of our collegues in another department was looking for me. So I went to her desk and in the process of the conversation I was offered another job. A really fun, interesting job that I am excited about. No more tracking spending or formating training manuals like I've been doing the past couple of weeks. I get to write important things and liase with marketing to make sure they understand what they are talking about (this is important). And I get to write. This is very exciting to me because I love writing and haven't really been doing much of it lately. So I get to start a new job, brush up some old skills and still have a pay check. This position is also short term, until the end of December but that seems like years away after thinking I only had two days of paid employment left. It is also possible that the Rwanda position will be back on by then or some other opportunity that I haven't even thought of might come up. It is great. I'll be home for Christmas, I get to go to the So You Think You Can Dance show in Toronto and I get to spend more time with friends and family. The only down side is that I am not skipping winter. I am already dreading the cold!

Some Good Introspection

I was wandering around the highways and side streets of the Internet this afternoon and I stumbled on a couple of blogs by people who are living and working in Kigali. I read these blogs with a kind of nostalgic eagerness trying to catch glimpses of the familiar landscapes and reassured by the similar struggles and philosophic wrestling these people are wrestling with. And I get homesick.

My cousin Mike is currently in Rwanda, probably waiting for dinner at a restaurant on the shores of Lake Kivu as I am writing this. He is with a team from my church and they are working with the same organization as I did the first time I went to Rwanda just over a year ago. Somehow if feels longer. It was hard for me to watch this team get ready to go since I wasn't going with them but I am so excited for what they are going to learn, see and experience. I get emails and facebook messages from Mike and from other team members about what they are doing, where they are and who of my friends they have seen. And I get homesick.

But as I think about my time in Rwanda and try to prepare for my possible-eventual-maybe return and as I read these blogs and email messages I have to start to ask myself what I am homesick for. What is it that I actually miss? How do I think of and image my experiences?

Of course I miss my favourite hangouts and the social interactions and real friendships I made while I was there. I miss shopping at Kimironkho market and I miss the green and beautiful scenery. And it is easy to say I miss the pace of life, the simplicity of things and the feeling of actually using my education and working in my Field.

But something about all of those things feels like a pat answer, the easy answer.

Do I miss the pace of life and the simplicity because I have forgotten the realities of the crushing poverty faced by the people of Rwanda? Does my longing for this simplicity in some way gloss over and somehow invalidate the daily struggle most people face?
Do I miss my work because I miss feeling important, like I am changing the world? Is there something of my own ego, my need to be appreciated and useful here?
When I think about the kids in my neighbourhood who knew me by name, do I miss them because of who they were and the relationship we started to build or do I miss the attention they gave me? When I remember their shining smiles and eager greetings am I finding their dirty faces and bare feet charming or do I acknowledge and grieve the poverty and lack that characterizes their days?

This is challenging to me, because of course my answer to these questions is in some part yes. I have minimalizled the poverty I faced every day, probably because I did face it every day. Somehow I got used to it, at least most days, so the disturbing images of children - who should be in school- begging, working or caring for siblings have been coloured with prettier colours in my mind. And of course I miss the work that actually felt like it was making a difference. I'm not sure that has to be egotistical but I know I have to pay attention to that.

Obviously my answer to the questions is also No. If it were a total yes I don't think I would be asking the questions to begin with - I wouldn't notice that I should. Poverty disturbs me on a deep and basic level. It is not what God intended for his creation and as a Christ follower I feel that justice and caring for the poor are among the foundational teachings of how we are to follow Christ. There is something in the core of me that rebels against the facts of poverty and shouts out that this isn't how it should be. It isn't how it needs to be. This is what motivates me and it is also I think what allows me to see beyond the poverty, past the bare feet and dirty torn clothing to the people and the lives behind them.

I love being home here in Canada. I have plans over the next week that will take me camping and spending time with good friends. I am planning a trip to Winnipeg in September to see old friends and even to 'teach' a class at my old school. I am really excited about new relationships and am working at strengthening old ones. So I am happy being home. But there is something that is yearning to be back in Rwanda. Something more than missing the view from Republica or the coffee at Bourbon. It is more than missing the women from the church on Fridays or picking lemons from my own tree. Sometimes this yearning worries me a little since it will take me away from home again and from people I love. But I know that there are plans for me and I trust that He leads me. And I am excited, so so excited to see what is next.

Fancy New Digs..

This is what I did while my computer ran a virus scan and I couldn't access the databases I needed at work. A very productive afternoon!

Notice I finally have links on the side! Very exciting.

August Long Weekend

I really enjoyed my long weekend. It kind of snuck up on me so I didn't have any exciting plans. At first I was a little sad about this - I should have gotten it together and gone camping or had some such adventures but instead I hung out in town. Saturday was just a relaxing day of catching up on some movies everyone else on the planet has seen except me, doing some gardening and reading on my back porch in the sun. I went to the market in the morning and stuffed my fridge full of fresh local produce and then went to my garden and got some more.

Sunday was a really fun day. Church was great with a great message that reminded me why I love my church. Then I went out for lunch with a group of friends. Hanging out on a patio while eating breakfast food is a good way to spend sunday lunch hour! Frisbee and a trip to 2nd cup for a yummy lemonade drink followed lunch. I actually bruised my hand playing frisbee which is silly and we got lots of sun. My usual sunday evening small group was reduced to two so we hung out and watched episodes of 'The Tick' and talking until 1am. I really need to get better at keeping track of time! In all it was one of my favourite days I've had in awhile. Monday included a really yummy lunch out with Steph, again out in the sun on the patio, an afternoon of reading CS Lewis and then coffee out with Jen.

I have had a number of conversations recently about good books. It has reminded me that I love reading and need to make more time for good literature. So I am currently reading The Great Divorce which I apparently have never read before even though it is on my book shelf. It is crazy good and I think I will probably read it twice just to make sure I am getting it. It has reminded me in turn that I should read more George Macdonald (Judi hooked me up back in school but I forgot about him) and maybe some Milton. And of course more of CS Lewis. Somehow I have never read his Miracles or Abolition of Man either. I think I need more long weekends and time to catch my breath. Work doesn't keep me crazy busy but somehow with all the commuting and trying to fit in daily life I forget to breathe. I don't take enough relaxing lunches or coffee dates. I may spend a little too much time talking with friends until all hours but I'm good with that :)

End of an era

We have had a cat in our house since I was five years old. We got Buddy from a family friend's farm and spent all day chasing him around the barn before we found him asleep under a trough in the loft. We got Lucky when she was found under the hood of a car at my uncle's Garage. She had been on the manifold of the engine all the way from Barrie and was a little singed and a little unhinged from the experience. For a long time she was very skittish and a little stupid. But she was so pretty that we forgave her weird quirks. As time went on she settled down and was only skittish around strangers. She became very cuddly and demanded attention by sitting on books and sprawling across keyboards. She slept in my bed whenever I was home but settled for my parents bed when I was away.

Lucky has been sick for a couple of months and this past week she died. She was around 13 years old.

Here are a couple of pictures I took of her recently
She is super cute!

We have had cats around for so long that it is weird adjusting to the empty house. There is no food dish by the back door, no sudden movements in the corner of your eye, no animal demanding attention or wanting to cuddle, and no cat hair on your clothes, furniture, floors etc. ( this last part is not really a bad thing...) It will take some getting used to!

It was their home first...

We've had some problems with chipmunks this year. A few weeks ago my mom's car was doing something weird and when we looked under the hood we discovered that a chipmunk has been eating things - spark plug wires and the padding that insulates the hood from the engine. So we have set a couple of traps and have taken several chippies to the forest a couple of kms from our house. We have named most of them - Chip and Dale have made visits to our place, as have Alvin, Simon and Theodore. My parents have been a little frustrated with the infestation but I keep reminding them that this was their home first.

This morning my dad noticed a chipmunk running out from under my mom's car and decided to check to make sure nothing was wrong. The car hadn't gone anywhere yesterday so the chipmunks had some extra time to do their work. They shredded the padding again and this time they left us a little present.

Alvin had babies in the car! The padding was used along with grass to make a nest-type thing and there were baby chipmunks in the nest under the hood of the car.

They have now been moved, nest and all, to the srubs in front of our house. Hopefully Alvin can find his(?) babies now but we couldn't leave them in the car. They might have eaten more wires and that would be bad.

Spam Sucks

No, I did not buy an iphone.
No, I am not recommending some website
No, I am not using hotmail anymore and no, I am not switching to gmail.

I'm glad that most people who got this know me better than to think I would send a stupid email. The whole things makes me mad.

Sorry to everyone who got it. Still haven't figured out how it happened as I don't have any virii. Will keep looking into it.

new opportunities and decisions to be made

At small group on Sunday night we were discussing how we often have to distinguish between the leading of the Spirit and our own instincts, our own voice. I mentioned that my contract was coming to an end at WV and didn't know what was next. I was given Psalm 130 which is basically, wait and hope, hope and wait.

Well I didn't have to wait long! I had a meeting on wednesday morning with my boss about the different projects I'm working on and then he brought up the questions I hadn't really asked yet - what comes next. I now have three exciting options, although none of these is approved or final and I haven't accepted anything. I'm trying to think and pray about these to figure out where the spirit is leading.

Option #1: I have been the junior project officer for Chad for the last two months. There is an opportunity for me to spend 3-6 months in Chad essentially doing many of the same things I've been doing, except I'll be in Chad. I'd also be doing a lot of capacity building and it would be an amazing learning experience and a good challenge. It would also look nice on my CV:) However, Chad is not the most secure country and it comes with many challenges I am not sure I want to face.

Option #2: There may be an opportunity for a placement of 12-18 months in Rwanda starting in October. Of course I am jumping for this placement and would love it so so much!

Option #3: I do both. This has not really been suggested by my boss or anything, but it would solve the problem of trying to decide. I could go to Chad for 3-4 months and then go to Rwanda. It would mean that I may be gone almost two years so there would be plenty of time for people to come visit...

So it is entirely possible that one or all of these options may fall through, but it is equally possible that I will be back in Africa before the summer is over. Obviously I want to take option #2 and return to Rwanda but it isn't as easy a decision as I thought it would be. Chad would be crazy difficult compared to anything I've done to date and if you'd asked me two months ago if I wanted to go to Chad I would have adamently said no. Now I feel like it is something I need to consider so if I am not able to do both I will have to choose between these. So maybe I am still waiting and hoping for more direction after all!

My No Good Horrible Really Bad Day...

Yesterday I needed to go into the office in Mississauga but my carpool was either on vacation or in meetings off site so I had no ride in. My mom offered to let me borrow her car for the day, something she hates to do because she is afraid that something will happen to it. It is too bad that we can only see foreshadowing in retrospect!

I arrived in Mississauga and had some time before I had to be in the office so I treated myself to a coffee. We all know how much I love coffee and most good days start with a good dose of caffeine. While leaving the Tim Horton's parking lot, six blocks from the office, I realized that my breaks weren't actually working. My foot went all the way to the floor and the car only slightly slowed. I managed to get to the office parking lot via a side road with only a couple of stop signs. Just a little stressful. When I got out of the car there was a puddle of break fluid on the pavement and a trail of fluid following my route to my parking space. I'm not very good with cars, but I know this is not a good thing.

I called my dad who drove all the way to mississauga from Waterloo, fixed the car so that it had front breaks (the back break lines were very broken) and left me the van so I could have a more reliable ride home. Again I missed the foreshadowing.

After work I went out for dinner with the other two WV interns who were in DRC and Tanzania while I was in Rwanda. We met at Yorkdale Mall and ate at Moxie's and it was fun.

And then I drove home.

I left for home around 9pm. They have been tearing up parts of the 401 for several months now so when you drive on these sections it is very loud. I finally noticed that the van was making odd noises even on the smooth sections of the road. It was only a couple of minutes later that the sounds got worse and I was thinking I should pull off at the next exit when BANG!! The van made this heartstopping noise and something fell out the bottom and dragged on the pavement for a short distance. I was in the middle of three lanes and had to cut off a transport truck in order to get over to the side. Luckily the exit for Highway 6 was right there so I managed to get up the off ramp and over to the side before the truck completely died. It is now 10pm and after I stop shaking and can pick up my cell phone, I once again have to call my dad to come and get me. He arrives about a half hour later and looks under the hood. Beyond repair. Or at least not worth the money it would take to repair.

A rod went through the crankshaft and into the engine and fell out the bottom of the van. Essentially the engine blew up. Again, I am not very good with cars, but this is a very bad thing! So after cleaning out all the stuff in the van and putting in the trunk of the car with only front breaks we drove home and left the van on the side of Highway 6 for the wreakers to pick up today. I got home after midnight and promptly went to sleep so that the day would end.

And so ends my story of the No Good Horrible Very Bad Day.

a new kind of pack-rat

I am working from home today and am having trouble concentrating. Most of my work requires me to think in French, which most days is tres facile, but other days I just cannot get into the zone. Today is one of those days! So I thought I would take a break and do something I have been meaning to do for a long time...

I am not a pack-rat really. I have moved around enough that I have learned the value of having fewer things to pack up. The annual garage sales my parents would have in our front yard when I was a kid also helped train me to keep only what I actually use. I have one box in my parents house of things I am keeping for sentimental reasons from my childhood and I can't remember the last time I got rid of a book (why would anyone get rid of books?!) but aside from these things, I am pretty good at purging and keeping my worldly belongings to a minimum.

Except in one area. My email inbox. I have a hard time deleteing emails. I'm not sure where this comes from but maybe I think that I will want to read them again, or that for one reason or another they will someday be useful. So I have become a new kind of pack-rat. Now according to hotmail I have only used about 1% of the available storage space, but having reached 28 pages in my inbox I began to suspect that maybe it was time to go through some of these...

Wow. I had emails dating back to before I lived in South Africa! Some of these emails were easy to delete - notifications that someone had commented on my blog, emails about events that are now long over, updates from traveling friends about their adventures, emails from old camp friends. Other emails were surprisingly more difficult. Emails from my French exchange partner, the email that told me my cat Buddy had died while I was in SA, emails with news of new babies and upcoming weddings. Going through these emails reminded me of people I haven't emailed in a long time and gave me a chance to respond to some of them. There were even a couple of emails from people who I have forgotten how I know them....

Now, after much successful procrastinating I have widdled the inbox down to only 2 and a half pages. I need to transfer contact information to my address book and write out a couple of recipes and then I will get it down to one page. Now I just have to remember to delete emails as they come in so I never have to deal with this again! Although, it was a very useful means of procrastination...

Homesick

I needed a few minutes away from reading long french documents so I decided to write this post. My eyes are starting to cross!

I am working from Starbucks this morning since I needed the motivation of actually leaving the house to start working. There are so many distractions at home! So since my mom needed the car and I've been stuck either in the car or at a desk for the past couple days I decided to walk to Starbucks. It isn't far - maybe a 15 or 20 minute walk. As I was walking I was thinking of all the times I walked to the internet cafe while I lived in Rwanda. It was something I did often. Sometimes I would use the internet cafe and sometimes i would go to Bourbon Coffee (oh how I miss you!) where they have free wireless. Sometimes I would take a moto into town, or my driver would drop me off after work, but sometimes on the days I "worked from home" I walked just to kill time, or I would walk home from town (nicer because it is downhill on the way home). So it was a normal part of life.

Walking today, again with my laptop hanging over my shoulder, I was struck by how completely different it is here. For one thing, it was pretty chilly today, only 4 degrees celcius. Also, there was only one hill and it is like a bump compared to the hills of Kigali. I only passed two people in the 20 or so minutes I was walking, there were no children chasing after me shouting 'muzungu' or asking me to give them candy/money/food. No taxis or motos honking at me to see if I wanted a ride, no shocked looks that I was actually walking somewhere (apparently muzungus aren't able to walk?). The only reason i stood out, if at all, is because I was walking while everyone else was in their cars and because my coat is a little bright by Canadian standards since it was made in Rwanda.

Now I am at Starbucks and another difference became clear. We like to think that because we are in north america we are ahead of the rest of the world on so many things, especially technology. This is not true. Technology here is made so complicated and inaccessible. Cell phones are stupid here. For example paying for incoming calls? Automated voice systems that take super long to get anywhere? African cell phone systems are so much easier. And wireless internet. I can access free wireless from so many different places in Kigali, and here I have to pay 7.50 per hour? So there is a lot we can learn from the way technology is used and provided in Africa!

So while I am glad to be home and am adjusting to being back in canada fairly well, today I am 'homesick' for Kigali. It would be nice to look out the window at the hills and banana trees and sights of kigali rather than the traffic jam at the corner of King and Weber :)

weekend report

I had a very green weekend. I went to the Living Green show in Toronto on Saturday at the Ex with Pam and another friend Carla. It was a lot of fun, and there were some really interesting things there. Shoes made from hemp and recycled tires, paper made from elephant poo and a really neat concept house that looked like the hindenberg. Ugly from the outside, but really cool. Also, there were lots of free samples. We almost didn't need to buy lunch since there was so much free food. I came home with green cleaning products, shampoo, soap from lush and lots of free seeds for my garden. I also entered several draws to win cars. that would make my life so much easier! I want a hybrid.

On sunday the green theme continued as I spent most of the afternoon digging in my garden. I haven't planted anything yet since there is frost this week but now the garden is all composted and ready to go. Then my family and I went for a walk in the woods and all the trilliums are out and blooming happily because it is spring. So it was a happy weekend.

Now the weekend is over and I am at work. I am enjoying my job and love that I only have to come in to the office twice a week. Today the people in my carpool came in early so of course I did too. I was here in Mississauga before 7am which meant that I was awake super early. It means I get to leave by 3:30 so cheers to that. If I win a hybrid then this will no longer be an issue.

And that is all

Weekend highlights

A quick overview of highlights from my relaxing fun weekend.

1) I went to a stag and doe for a highschool friend on friday night. I won a tent! So now when I go camping in Algonquin in August I have a new tent.

2) In keeping with the wedding theme I went to a bridal shower saturday afternoon for my good friend Cheryl. It was fun and not as naughty as I expected:)

3) I bought a bag for my yoga mat which is made entirely out of recycled soda bottles. Pretty cool:)

4) Baking. I missed baking while I was in Rwanda because even after I lived in a place with an oven it was an electric oven and it cost about 10$ worth of power just to make tea biscuits. Saturday I made cinnamon buns which tasted yummy but didn't come out of the pan very well so they look gross. Now I am making yummy french bread. I love the smell of bread baking!

5) The weather. I'm glad I'm not buried in snow like people in Calgary! I am very much enjoying the 20+ degree weather and spending time outside. If it had been this nice out when I got home a month ago the transition would not have been so hard!

This week I start my new job at World Vision. I am not looking forward to all the driving to Mississauga because the 401 is crap and gas is tres chere but since I only have to go 1-2 times a week it should be ok. I am still looking into car pooling or finding another means of public transport to save money and the environment, but so far no luck.

Spring is here!

Finally spring. I wore spring clothes today and only got mildly chilly in the shade. I spent most of yesterday doing yardwork for my parents (now I have ugly blisters on my hands) and used the bbq to make dinner. Now I just have to clean all the leaves and junk out of my garden and I can start to get it ready to plant things. I am still deciding what to plant this year. Last year my squash and zuccinni both failed, but they would be so yummy if they grew this year. I will plant carrots, peas, beans and tomatoes. Maybe cucumber? Not quite the same as having lemon and avacado trees in the yard, but once the cherries start coming it will be pretty close!

Employed once again!

I got a phone call today from one of my old bosses from WV Canada and now I am working once again!! The phone call came sort of out of the blue and just as I was starting to get frustrated with my job search. I have been offered a temporary contract as the junior program officer in charge of the programming in Chad. It is only a two month contract but it may lead to something more later. For now it is money, more experience and more learning. And I get to do most of it from home since transport it an issue. I will still be working for my friend at the University of Waterloo, which is also mostly done from home, about 10 hours a week so I will be busy :)

So the pressue is off, I can feel like a productive member of society again but I will be going stir crazy in my house all day! The starbucks near my house has wireless so I can use that as my office once in a while:) Yahoo!!

Adjustments and tulips

Finally the snow is starting to melt! So exciting to see the grass and know that spring is here!! I've only had to deal with winter for three weeks, but I am ready for it to be over! I went to the Elmira Maple Syrup festival on saturday - the largest one day maple syrup festival in the world:) It was fun and I had a pickle on a stick. An annual tradition. yum.

So I've been home now for three weeks and am still adjusting. Live happens so quickly here, even when I don't have anything to do! I'm having trouble catching up. When I got home from South Africa the transition was a little traumatic, but this time it is a more subtle adjustment. Part of me wants to just re-adapt quickly and fit back into life here, while part of me really doesn't. It is confusing!

I have a part time job for the next month 0r so helping a friend who works at the university of Waterloo doing admin and stuff. At least it will keep me busy while I find another "real" job. :)

catching up.

I've been home nearly two weeks now so now that jet lag is finally behind me and I am feeling more at home I figured it was time to post again. I got home last monday night, spent one day at home before heading to Mississauga for two days for a 'debrief' at the WV head office. It was exhausting since I was still on Rwandan time and very sleep deprived, but it was nice to spend time with the other interns and hear about their experiences.
Saturday I went over to Pam's place for dinner and found a surprise birthday/welcome home party. Funny thing was, I was the first person to arrive!! So I walked in the door and saw all the decorations and Pam standing there saying 'Surprise?' It was a good evening and it was fun to see my friends again. Didn't really get to talk with some of them, but that's ok.
I'm not sure what is next for me but I am feeling more and more that I won't be here in Canada for very long. I miss Rwanda, but more than that I am feeling like I don't fit here, that my 'calling' for lack of a better word, is somewhere else. It will be interesting to see what is next.

Great White North

So I'm home now. And I am COLD!!! Flying home from Amsterdam I was looking out the window as we flew over Canada and it was so pretty and white. I was cold just looking at it! My flight landed at about 4:30 pm Canada time - 11:30 Rwanda time. So by the time I got home to Waterloo after going out for dinner with my family it was after 3am my time, after traveling for essentially 36 hours. So now I am tired and cold, but glad to be home!

Tomorrow I go to Mississauga to spend a couple of days at the WV Canada head offices and hopefully will find out more about a possible job. I get to drive in snow. Yuck!

Being home is really weird. Rwanda feels like an entire other world and it is a little overwhelming and the only places I've been are the airport, the restaurant, home and the driver's liscense place. It will be an adjustment!

Homeward Bound

I always forget how much I actually hate airports until I have to spend time in them. I was in Nairobi for 7 hours yesterday and now am sitting in Amsterdam killing time for another six hours. At least there is free wireless here!!

My last couple of days in Rwanda were really hectic. Thursday night there was a goodbye dinner for me at the ADP in Nyamata where I have been spending about half my time. It was really great. The food wasn't so good but lots of fanta. But they gave me presents- had trouble packing it all! and one of the guys I worked with, Etienne, wrote a three page poem. I didn't understand all of it but what I did get was really funny. Friday afternoon there was a farewell function at the head office - more formal with lots of speeches but also more gifts. Iwas really surprised by the gifts. I don't know why but I wasn't expecting it at all! Then I went home and found all my friends waiting for me in my sitting room. Pip had planned a surprise party for me and I was really surprised. Apparently I am incredibly oblivious! It was a lot of fun and it was really great to hang out with friends and just relax.
Saturday we went to a wedding and I packed. I am amazed that I actually fit everything into my bags. I left a lot of things behind so I'm not sure what took up so much room. Although I did buy a table so that would be part of it:)

Yesterday I went to the airport with an entourage - two cars full of people saw me off. It was really nice but it was hard not to cry. Then I got on the plane to go home. I should probably start reflecting and processing - I'm already feeling overwhelmed by the west and I'm just in an airport. But I'm too tired! Five and a half hours here, then 8hrs on a plane and then I am home. Coming off the plane here in Amsterdam I nearly froze and we didn't even have to go outside! Not looking forward to the snow at home!

Procrastination is a global phenomenon

Getting dressed for work in the morning is less fun then it used to be. This is because my options are more limited because I don't like to wear skirts anymore. I used to hate wearing skirts but my newfound aversion is not because of a reversion to my old attitudes. No, I just hate trying to explain all the bruises! So if I wear pants no one can see them which makes my day a little easier. They are gradually going away now - more of a mottled green and yellow tinge creeping in which is at least a change from the electric blue and deep purple. And they mostly don't hurt anymore, except if I accidentally kick myself in my sleep - and yes, I know how that sounds.

I am supposed to be writing the semi annual progress report for my program but am having a hard time concentrating on it. So instead I am procrastinating as much as possible. I have very little motivation to write it since a) it is not actually my job and my boss should be working on it b) it is not due for another month and a half and c) I have only 6 business days left before I leave and it is very unlikely that this will get finished before then anyways. So I have written only three pages in the last two or three hours.

In other news, I am no longer the only muzungu here at world vision Rwanda. This is exciting, but I'm sad now that I only have 6 business days left! Jo is here from Australia and it is nice having her in the office. She is here for almost a year, lucky girl.

I guess that is all except that I get to go to the tailor's tonight to pick up a jacket I had made and on monday I get to pick up some more clothes from my other tailor. Very exciting!

I guess I should go back to work....

Time is running!

I have been kept very busy lately with work. For the past three weeks I have been leading various trainings around the country. It meant that I got to see more of Rwanda than just Kigali and the Bugesera region where we've been working. The northern part of the country has very magestic mountains and is a little chilly way up on top of them! The southern part still has hills and mountains but for the most part they seem a little more subtle somehow. Now I am back in the main office realizing how much is left to be done before I leave! Our evaluation plan, our semi annual report, a couple of other reports and we have to figure out what we want to do for our community level trainings that will start (hopefully) at the end of april. Of course I won't be here for those, but deciding on what they will be about, how they will look and so on is still important. Also, I need to help review annual operating plans with the ADPs we are working with which will take some time as well.

On top of all of this, I want to spend time with friends, go to places I haven't yet been and do things I haven't been able to do. And I have less than two weeks to do it all!! But I figure sleep is something that can be saved for the flight home:)

I have been meeting a lot of new people in the last couple of weeks. I started going to an expat bible study and all of a sudden I have tons of muzungu friends - a weird thing for me since most of my friend here have been Rwandese! It is a little sad that I found this bible study and all these friends just before I am leaving, but at the same time if I had had the security of these friendships from the beginning my relationships with my Rwandese friends might not have been so important.

Even though I am very busy and have so much to do, I am starting to feel restless and a little stir crazy. I am looking forward to the change of scene that going home will provide and the freedom of mobility is an exciting prospect. Here, to get anywhere takes planning and time, especially since I don't take moto taxis anymore! I love it here still - and am really sad about leaving, but as the day gets closer I feel more and more that it is actually time for me to go home. That is not to say that I won't be back!!

You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes?...

I had some excitement on Saturday afternoon. Although, frankly, I can do without this brand of excitement!

Pip and I were at a friend’s house in Gikondo, a part of Kigali near to where we live in Kimihurura. We stayed longer than we planned and were in a hurry to get home since we had someone coming to our place. So instead of the 40 minute walk or the 20 minute bus ride we opted for motorbike taxis. These are much cheaper than car taxis – 300 rwf compared to 1500 or 2000 rwf for the same distance. I try not to take these very often and only when I am with someone else, but they are faster, cheaper and more convenient than other modes of transport. Also, I really like riding the motorcycles which is funny since I hated Dad’s so much when I was a kid! On Saturday Pip’s moto left ahead of mine since I took extra time to make sure that my helmet was tight enough. Good thing!

About half way home I was in the left lane and a minibus taxi driving in the right lane decided to pull a u-turn right in front of us. Let me tell you, this scared the crap out of me! I can still see the bus and remember how it felt realizing that we couldn't avoid it. My driver did manage to avoid actually hitting the bus, which is good since that would have really hurt, but we still ended up on the pavement. We ended up sliding on the bike's side. I remember laying on the pavement thinking, ‘I can’t be ok. Where does it hurt because I can’t be ok” Everyone stopped and the police came and we caused a big scene - it is not everyday that a muzungu is in a moto accident in Kigali. But I was totally fine. When two guys helped me up, I didn’t even have a scratch on me, which is a little crazy since I was wearing a tank top and we slid on the pavement a couple of meters before stopping. I have a few brightly coloured bruises to remind me of the occasion from where the bike and I collided and from where I hit the pavement, and I am still a little stiff. Nothing is broken and I don’t even have a cut or scrape on me. A couple days from now I will hardly notice, but you will not find me on a motorbike again anytime soon!

I know that I am lucky. It could have been worse but God was definitely watching over me and his hand was on the whole situation. My driver was also fine, just really really angry with the bus driver. Even the bike seemed like it would be ok!

Talking in Circles

I am leading a workshop with Apollo my boss, for World Vision staff in the Northern Region - close to the Ugandan border. Apollo starts the workshop by welcoming and introducing in Kinya-Rwanda, the local language. Then he turns and translates for me the general idea of what was said. Then I give a presentation on Systems Approaches in French and when a question is asked or discussion is raised I turn and translate to Apollo into English who responds in Kinya-Rwanda and then translates what he said for me into English. This gets very tiring!! But at the same time I love that these workshops are effectively tri-lingual. I leave not knowing if I am thinking in English or in French until I start talking in the wrong language to someone who only speaks the other language.

Bush in Rwanda

American flags are flying beside Rwandan flags all over town. Security is visiable and there is a lot of it. It can only mean one thing - U.S. President George W Bush is coming to Rwanda. The new american embassy (which looks a lot like its counterpart in Ottawa) has just been completed so Bush is comint to open it this week. This means road blocks half an hour before the president leaves his hotel until his large entourage of black land cruisers passes by. It means lots and lots of security. The entourage has already arrived and has booked Serena in its entirety - the only 5 star hotel in Kigali- for more than a week. I don't even want to imagine what this is costing the american tax payers!

Wasting Time

Once again my boss called me this morning and told me not to come into work. So I did some reports from home and now am at Bourbon Coffee - my 'other office' having coffee and people watching. So I have some time to think about my time here so far. I know I have done a 'what I love about rwanda' post, so without repeating too much, here are "Things I will miss when I go home" in no particular order:

1. Being able to reach outside my window and pick fresh lemons from the tree for stir fry and other cooking needs
2. Going to the market every Saturday morning, talking with the women and going home with a weeks worth of fresh fruit and vegetables for under 10$.
3. Motorbike taxis
4. Daily dirty hugs from the kids in our neighbourhood
5. My Rwandese friends
6. The Coffee
7. The weather - hot but not too hot, cooler in the evenings and enough rain to keep the dust from taking over the country - you have to live here to understand.

There are many other things, but my internet time is almost gone, so cheers

earthquakes and camping Rwandese style

Sunday morning I was getting ready for church when the ground moved. The shelves in the dining room shook and the bed I was sitting on shuddered. My heart went into my throat. The tremor was hardly noticeable actually – at first we thought a big truck had driven by or something, but it was a weird feeling. Later it was confirmed that it has been an earthquake. The epicentre was about 100km from Kigali along the Rwanda-Congo border. Apparently it measured somewhere around a 5 on the Richter Scale. Just over 40 people were killed, last I heard, and a couple hundred injured. Nine people were killed when their church collapsed. Here in Kigali there was no damage or injuries at all.

There was some concern about aftershocks and so it was advised that people spend Sunday night outdoors. Since my roommate Pip was out of town I slept outside with my landlord’s family. Aside from the mosquitoes, it was actually kind of fun. It was a good thing I didn’t have to work on Monday though, because none of us really slept very well!

Job Search

I have never really liked looking for a job. It is time consuming, frustrating and it means I have to rewrite my resume. However, since I only have 2 months left in my contract, it is that time again. Job Search Time.

This task is made more difficult by the fact that I have not really decided what type of job I really want. Part of me would love a longer term opportunity here - if not in Rwanda, at least in Africa. The other part of me is thinking that it would be nice to be based in Canada with an NGO. So this means I am splitting my efforts in two different directions. The other thing that makes it frustrating is the job requirements for most positions. If they don't want someone with a master's degree (most of which require three years of experience before you can apply) they need someone with 5 years experience. I, of course, have neither of these and so don't qualify for most of the positions open at the moment. So the search continues...

Time is running!

I am having a difficult time believing that it is January 15th. Time has been flying so quickly! Before Christmas it felt like I still had so much time here in Rwanda - time to figure out the problems with my position here, time to find a job for when I am finished, time to spend with friends here and to explore this great country.

Now it feels like I have no time! Two months and I will be on my way home. I am not going to dwell on this - that is surest way to waste time, but I will indulge a little today. I feel like there is still so much to be done and learned here. I have only been to work two days since I have been back from Zambia and this is increasingly frustrating since there is still lots of work to do. I need to sit with my boss and figure out what is going on in his head because he tells me day after day that I don't need to come into work. I am supposed to go to Nyamata tomorrow, but I half expect him to call me this evening and put it off again.

This was supposed to be a reflective posting about my time here so far, but now it has degenerated into a bit of a rant about my job. So I will stop here.

As promised

More Photos!!

A crocodile dozing in the sun on a small island in the zambezi river.

Hippos watching us as we canoe past on the Zambezi



Standing on the edge of the world on Livingstone Island, right at the top of Victoria Falls



Miriam, fellow WV intern and travling parnter gracefully getting up on our elephant:)



He got thristy! Riding the elephant was great fun, even if we did do it in a thunder storm!

Zambia Pictures

So here are some pictures of my adventures in Zambia! Yahoo!

Miriam, fellow WV intern and I at Victoria Falls

Pretty rainbow in the falls

My Dad's old house in Livingstone - I think!!

That is right - I am riding an elephant!! In a thunderstorm! So much fun!

Rapelling down a gorge near the falls - a little scary at first but then a great time:)

More pictures will come later - running out of internet time! Now I am home in Kigali and am happy to be 'home.'

Our sincere apologies...

just a couple corrections to the last post. First of all, while several hundred people have been reportedly killed in Kenya since the elections, "only" 30 were killed in the church at entembe. Also it is the opposition leader who has so far refused to discuss how to resolve the situation, not the current president.

Sorry for the errors :)

Violence in Kenya

On my way to Zambia before Christmas I spent the night in Nairobi - my flight to Lusaka left early in the morning and there were no flights from kigali that would get me there in time so the trip took two days. My taxi driver chatted with me about the upcoming election. He liked the current president but acknowledged that a lot of people wanted change. He thought the elections would be close, but he didn't think there would be any trouble.

Last week Kenyans went to the polls and it appears that the incumbant won, but the opposition is claiming that the election was fixed. He has encouraged protests and rallies in the capital and these have led to increasing violence. In addition to this supporters of the opposition leader, Railaa Odinga seem to have started a campaign against members of Mwai Kibaki, the current president's ethnic group. A church in the town of Eldoret was burned with hunderds of people inside. It brings images of what happened in Rwanda to mind.

The international community is urging talks between the president and opposition leader, but Kibaki has so far refused. The violence is spreading across the country and it is especially disturbing considering Kenya's relatively peaceful reputation.

I am currently on my way home from Zambia, once again spending the night in Nariobi. This time I stayed in the airport, not venturing into the city. My parents worry enough without me hanging out in a virtual war zone. It is weird though since the airport seems virtually unaffected by the situation outside. Maybe the lack of food in the cafeteria is a result of the situation, but it could just be the way things are here.

My flight leaves in a little more than an hour. I am looking forward to being back in Kigali but will be watching what is happening here closely. Let us hope that what has happened in so many countries in the region does not happen to Kenya - let us hope the world can speak out and play a role in restoring peace before more people are killed.