A week in the field

I have been working for awhile now on putting together a proposal for a grant from the European Commission. We are working in a consortium with 4 other organizations and since my organization is the Lead, it means a lot of the responsibility and organization has fallen on me. I've been learning a lot and have really enjoyed working with the team we've put together. We just hired a consultant to help us put together the final product and after several months of work things are finally coming together. It is exciting and tiring and stressful but as we move forward I am pretty confident that the proposal we are putting together has a really good chance of winning. I think I have mentioned here before that the funding climate in Burundi is difficult and that there aren't many grant opportunities compared to other countries. There are several other consortium competing for this same grant so there is no guarantee we will win, but I am hopeful.

In order to make sure that our proposal reflects what is actually going on in the communities where we will be working we've had a lot of discussions with our partners and staff working on the ground, but it is important to see these things for ourselves so last week the consultant we hired and I spent four days in the field talking to community members and doing an informal assessment. This is something I have not gotten to do enough of in my position so far. So much of my job has been dealing with donors and emails and reports and I have not been able to get out of the office nearly enough, so I was thrilled to have this opportunity. The organization of our schedule was a little hectic and at the last minute we were given the crappy land cruiser with the back seats that face the side instead of the normal one with the seats that face forwards. This meant I spent 4 days being thrown around the back of a land cruiser and I have the bruises to show for it, but all in all it was a successful trip. We got the information we needed, confirmed some of our hypothesis and found some important things that we would have missed otherwise. I got to spend 4 days getting sunburned while standing in fields talking to farmers. I got to walk through fields of banana trees, I learned about the mozaique virus that has had a huge negative impact on the manioc (cassava) crops here, and I got to talk to moms about what they feed their kids and how they are trying to make sure their kids are getting enough nutritious food. I love to be able to look beyond the statistics and reports into the eyes of these mothers as they talk about their struggles and their dreams for their children.

Now I am back in Bujumbura, exhausted, slightly sunburned and bruised, but looking forward to the next two weeks as I finish up various projects and get ready to come home. Apparently it snowed this week at home so I'll be greeted by the white stuff when I land in Toronto. I'll spend as much time in the sun as work and the rain allow me to and take advantage of the rest of my time here.

For now, here are some pictures of my week in the field.

Fields of Banana trees

One of the 'improved species' of cows which give more milk than the local breed

Talking to a community about their food security and nutrition concerns and needs
(photo is the property of World Vision)

The view from my guest house in Rutana

New experiments with terracing to help stop erosion

Had dinner with the hippos again when I returned to Bujumbura. 

Rainy season in Bujumbura

As I have mentioned before, it is currently the rainy season here in Burundi. This usually means about an hour of rain most days, but not every day. It is the same as the rainy season in Rwanda so although this is my first time experiencing it in Burundi, it isn't really new to me. Even so, there are always differences. For one, it is amazing how clear the air is here after it rains. During the dry season it gets very dusty and hazy. I didn't really notice the impact of that until the other day after it rained I looked up at the horizon as I was driving to work and I noticed the mountains of the DRC in the distance. I have always known that the mountains were there - you can usually see their outline across the lake, but this was the first time that I could clearly see the ridges and valleys, even the trees and houses on the mountains. Things are more crisp and more green and everything seems more clean. Except for the mud of course.

This year it is raining a lot more than normal. Instead of an hour of rain 3 out of 4 days we have had several days in a row where it rained all day. And this isn't a nice spring shower, we're talking serious downpour complete with thunder and wind. Not very pleasant. There are more accidents when it rains, the traffic is worse and I am more dependent on taxis since I can't walk into town or from place to place within town. I wished I had my camera with me on my way to work this morning so I could have pictures with this post. It has rained quite a bit this week so the ground is already very wet and what little drainage systems there are in the city are pretty overwhelmed. On my way to work this morning the roads were literally flooded with a foot of swirling red water dyed by the dark red mud.  Vehicles inched along spraying up waves of muddy water. Most of the water was low enough that it did little more than slow everyone down, but in a few low lying areas the water was deep enough to go over the hoods of small cars and I saw one stall and get stuck because of the water. Soon after the rain stops most of the streets go back to normal with only a few maintaining large puddles. It is raining again now and I think the road to my apartment will be washed out by the time I get back there tonight. I live on a hill and the road is only paved part way. Where the pavement stops the rain water pools and washes away the road so there is now a large drop off from the pavement to the dirt road.

The rain is normally good for the people of Burundi - as much as it is inconvenient it is necessary for this country that depends heavily on subsistence agriculture. However, this much rain has the potential to cause problems. Burundi is a very hilly country with people cultivating steep inclines as well as low laying valleys. Too much rain is potentially a threat to both. The low laying marshes are especially at risk of flooding with the potential for whole crops to be destroyed. With families farming only an average of 0.3 hectares of land loosing that land to flood is devastating. Hopefully the rains calm down and we get some nice sunny weather to dry things out. Not only do the crops desperately need this, but so do I. I only have one month left here in Burundi before I head back to December in Canada - the land of ice and snow. I want to soak up as much of the African sun as I can while I have the chance!

About A Good Day

I had a really good day today, and since those have been rare lately I thought I should record it for posterity and to remind me that they do happen. Actually, that makes it sound like I've had nothing but horrible days and that isn't really true. Things have been better lately but it has been awhile since I've left the office thinking "that was a good day".

My day started with a meeting with the consortium I'm working with for a really big grant proposal. The meeting is not held at my office and I usually go straight there on the mornings of our meetings instead of going all the way to my office and then turning around an hour later and coming back. So I work from their meeting room or from a cafe near by until it is time for our meeting to start. We started almost an hour late this morning but somehow that didn't bother me as much as it normally does. Nothing I had planned on finishing got finished but we had a good discussion and made important progress on other things. I had lunch with someone from one of the other organizations and we talked about our logframe and objectives as well as our organogram over brown rice salad with raisins and cashews and a cafe mocha. Work is more enjoyable over a good lunch.

Then I went back to the office and spent the afternoon in skype conversations realizing that no one was sure about what progress we had actually made this morning on those important things, and that somehow no decisions had actually been made. Again, somehow this did not bother me as much as it normally would have and I spent a couple of hours figuring things out and I think I made some progress and things will be fine by Monday.

So reading this, it sounds like I should have had a frustrating day brightened only by a yummy lunch with a nice colleague. But it was actually a really good day and I enjoyed working with interesting and smart people and problem solving obstacles and just doing my job. It has been awhile since I found these things enjoyable in themselves and it is a nice way to end the week. It is Friday and I am looking forward to the weekend but I am not as desperate for it as I was at the end of last week. Hopefully the rest of the five weeks (!? when did that happen...) I have left in Burundi are as pleasant as this one, although maybe a little more productive!

To finish off this happy post, here are a couple happy pictures from my trip to the beach last weekend.

Tanganyika Blue Bay Resort in Rumonge

My view for most of the afternoon

Sunset over the beach

You can't really tell here, but it rained on Sunday. Hung out and read on the beach anyway.

Sunset over Bujumbura

This week has been much better than the last couple of weeks. I still get frustrated with work sometimes and I had to work this morning even though it was a holiday, but in general it is better. My meeting today was with people I enjoy working with and I leave tomorrow for two days on the beach south of Bujumbura. It will be nice to get away and just relax. I am hoping it doesn't rain, but since it is the rainy season I think it might be more realistic to hope it doesn't rain much. The nice thing about the rains here is that while it rains almost every day, it usually only rains for an hour or two. Today was an exception and it rained almost all day. I'm hoping that means it won't rain at all tomorrow!

Last weekend a friend and I spent the evening at Belvedere Restaurant up on the hill overlooking Bujumbura. Here are a couple pictures of the sunset over the city.

Those are the mountains of the DRC in the distance

The sun setting over Lake Tanganika

Not a bad way to spend a Sunday evening. Heading south to Ramonge tomorrow. More pictures to come.

Another Day

I started the last post admitting that I’ve been struggling with some things and that not all of it has been happy. I’ve been discouraged and disappointed a lot over the past couple of weeks, especially over the past couple of days. I am usually a positive enough person and am pretty intentional about finding the good side of things, people and situations. It isn’t usually something I have to try very hard at. So this negativity I’m feeling has been hard to deal with because I feel like it isn’t me.  

I have been working really hard on a project since right before I went home for the wedding. I worked on it while I was home even though it was supposed to be a bit of a vacation. I had skype conference calls at 6am because of the time difference and the weeks after I got back to Burundi I worked 15-20 hours a day and worked all through the weekends. I was working with a team or other people on this project and I enjoyed the opportunity to work with them and learn from them, but the process was stressful and at times it felt like we were going in circles. At the last minute it was decided that the proposal we had worked so hard on would not be submitted.To be told at the very last minute that all this work had been for nothing was incredibly discouraging. I have finished swearing at the wall now, but I am still feeling really disappointed and a little angry. It is not all on my shoulders, it is not my fault that this didn't work – I was part of a team and not really in charge, but I can’t help feeling like if I had done better, worked harder, managed time or people differently,, then it would have worked out differently. In the past I think I have taken experiences like this as motivation to do better, or to work harder. This time I am less motivated and it is making me feel like I am overwhelmed and under qualified. I have a lot of work left to do in the next two months so I know I need to be more positive. And I will be. Tomorrow. But for now I am exhausted, homesick and ready to be finished. I am trying to find my way back to being the positive person who is up for the challenge, but she might be a little lost right now. I know a lot of this is because of how tired I am. I am working to put some balance back in my daily life and am reminding myself that I’m not carrying this alone and that I need to cast all my cares on the One who is able to carry them all. This reminder along with good coffee, lunch today outside by the lake with a friend and cleansing thunderstorms are helping me to feel more like myself.

I know this post has been a bit negative. Sorry for that. I promise my next post will have pictures and will be more upbeat.

I am still here!

I am alive and well and not dead. Since I haven’t posted here in nearly two months I know some of you might have been wondering. I'm still here.

I have been meaning to post for some time but I have been struggling with a few things and anything I posted would mostly have been a discussion about how much I have been working and some of the things that are bringing me down. I didn't think that was particularly interesting. And a blog must be interesting. A blog could have an existential crisis if it weren't interesting as that is part of its core identity. And obviously I have still been working too hard and not sleeping enough since I am not sure if that made any sense.

So before I share about the crap and the discouraging and disheartening stuff that has been happening the past two weeks, lets start with something fun and really happy. I flew home at the beginning of September for two weeks so that I could be part of my best friend’s wedding. It was nothing like the movie. I had made this part of my contract negotiations when I took this position, that I would be able to take the two weeks to go home. Silly me said I would be available via skype and email if necessary, but honestly I assumed it would not be necessary. But that is another story. 

I took a direct flight from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to Toronto – a 16 hour flight. I almost lost my sanity but I was really glad to get home in a total of 23 hours instead of the regular 32-36 hours that you get when you go through Europe and have an 8-12 hour layover. I arrived home at 8am and the Best Friend picked me up at the airport using her Ipad as a sign with my name on it. I don't think anyone has ever met me at the airport with a sign with my name on it before. It was pouring rain and early on a Saturday morning and she was still there and then bought me a coffee. This is the second time that the Best Friend has met me at the airport, the first being when I came home from my exchange trip to France in grade 10.  See why she is the Best Friend?

While I was home I spent time with my family and my friends, although busy schedules made it so I only saw my sister for a total of about 6 hours the entire time I was home. We’ll have to work on that!  I caught up with old friends and cousins I haven’t spent enough time with over the years. I ate salads almost every day and walked around without being pointed at, stared at or asked for money. I also helped plan the ‘wedding shower/bachelorette/fun day spent with the Bride” which was the weekend before the wedding.  This turned out to be a pretty low key day with none of the craziness or shenanigans one might expect, but was a good time just to spend time together and relax. The next weekend was the rehearsal and of course, the Main Event.

The Best Friend and I have been friends almost as long as I can remember, and I know The Groom pretty well too. So I was thrilled that I was able to make it home to be a part of their day. It was beautiful, laid back and fun. It was a good reflection of the two of them and of their relationship. Surprisingly I didn't cry at all during the ceremony, but I suspect this is only because the bride kept it together. If she had started to cry, even a little bit I would have lost it.  The Best Friend’s sister was the MoH and asked me to help her with her speech. It didn’t say everything we wanted it to since we finished it last minute despite all kinds of good intentions. I wanted it to say how much I love her, how much her friendship all these years has meant to me, how much of who I am was shaped by my friendship with her, how proud I am of who she is and how she lives her life, and how incredibly happy I am for her and The Groom. So if our speech didn’t say all that, now I have. That is what a blog is for.

It was really great to be home, even for only a couple of weeks. It was not the most relaxing of ‘vacations’ since I worked almost every day I was home, but it was what I needed to get through the next couple of weeks. I arrived back here in Burundi with some of the worst jetlag in history but mostly refreshed and ready to work. Now I’m back in the land of sun, beaches and a stupid crazy work schedule. I’m sharing my apartment with two new geckos and a millipede that lives on my ceiling (most of the time. I don't like to think about where it is the rest of the time....) and I finally got a lightbulb in my kitchen. It is amazing the difference that makes – it made me temporarily turn into my mom and clean the room from top to bottom! So focusing on the positives, life is pretty good. And since this post is long enough and too happy to be brought down by the Other Stuff, I will leave that for another day.

Extraordinary in the Ordinary.

In most ways my life here in Bujumbura is not that completely different than my life in Canada. I get up in the morning, go to the office for 7:30 until 5pm (long day!!) then go home. Some evenings I go out for dinner with friends, or I stop at a store for groceries on my way home. I might even stop for a cup of coffee somewhere. Sure, my breakfast is more likely to feature passion fruit and mangoes here than in Canada, and my commute to work has some more interesting sights such as goats playing on top of parked cars or people carrying huge loads of produce to the market on their heads, but for the most part my life here has largely become routine. Even ordinary. The exception is the weekends. I have the privilege of exploring a beautiful country and a new culture on my weekends. These opportunities and experiences are extraordinary. Here are some pictures from my fun Sunday afternoon hanging out with friends on a boat ride down the Ruzizi River, just a 15 minute drive from downtown Bujumbura.

Ready to spend the afternoon on the water.

Safety First! Rockin' the lovely orange life vests.

We saw three different families of hippos for a total of almost 30 different individual hippos!

It was a 'cooler' cloudy day so many of the hippos were out of the water.

Just a lazy Sunday afternoon!

We got really close to this family so they slipped under the water as we went by.

We ended the afternoon with drinks and some snacks at Bora Bora on Lake Tanganyika. A great end to a great day!

And now tomorrow it is back to the ordinary, day to day routine of work and everyday life. I'm enjoying the rhythms of life here, the pace and the flow of my days. Sometimes time seems to be getting away from me and I have a lot to do in the next couple of weeks with work, but then I get to pause over a coffee with a friend or at the beach in the sun and I remember to absorb these experiences and to live in this day, not worrying about what is coming next. I remember that I get to live the extraordinary, even in the ordinary things.
 

Weekend in Rutana

I spent the weekend exploring more of this beautiful country. Here are some of the pictures from our adventures.

A beautiful day at the Feilles D'Allemand. That is Tanzania in the distance

A beautiful sunny day, no wonder I got a sunburn!

A rainbow in the water fall

Les Chutes de la Kagera in Rutana 

Well worth the hike to see the four difference water falls .

Like Sand Through the Hourglass....

It is August 8th. Already. I've been in Burundi for two whole months - when did this happen? Time is a funny thing, we all know this, but it is amazing to me that it has gone by so quickly. Of course looking back there are times when it did not feel like it was going quickly and in some ways my first weeks here seem like they happened to someone else. And yet, here I am a third of the way through my time here in Burundi and one month from my trip home for my Best Friend's wedding.

I learned long ago that to focus too much on time is not a good thing when you are away from home. If you are not enjoying it, then counting the days makes it seem even longer. You think you are giving yourself something to look forward to (x many days/weeks until you go home to hot showers, electricity and some random food you've been craving!) but it actually makes things go more slowly then at the end you realize you've missed out on a lot because you were so focused on counting days. If you are enjoying it then focusing too much on time makes it go by even faster (you only have x days/weeks left! So much left to do and see in such a short time!!) and it is hard to just sit back and absorb the experiences. Either way you are in danger of missing your life because you are so concerned with how quickly it passes you by. I think this applies to "real" life as well, but when you are overseas it takes on a different quality.

There is an exception to this not focusing on time however. Once in awhile, even on a regular basis, it is important to take time to reflect. I have been very busy over the last week so I haven't had a whole lot of time to do this, but I've had a few moments where I've been able to reflect on what I've seen, experienced and accomplished over the last two months. I feel pretty at home in Bujumbura and I am fairly confident in my ability to find what I need on a daily basis. (Except light bulbs. The ones in my apartment are the long florescent ones but I haven't found the right ones anywhere yet. Either they are too long or two short. This is becoming annoying since the light bulb in my kitchen died two days after I moved in. So I either have to cook in the dark or before 6pm when it gets dark outside. But I digress) I have the places I go to buy this and that, I have my routes to and from the office and I have the places I walk to on the weekends. The city is familiar and even comfortable. I have not been very social here but I have a couple of good friends and I am finding that I like my own company just fine most of the time. Granted, three of these friends are leaving at the end of August or the beginning of September, but then I'll just have to make new ones. Work is settling down at the same time as it is getting busier. I am confident in (most) of what is expected of me now and I feel like I know what I'm doing. My first couple of weeks were frustrating and not terrific for my self confidence, but this was mostly because of the transition in the office and a lack of leadership, not really because of anything I was or was not doing. This is slowly settling into place. I still struggle with either being too busy, or not having enough to fill my day, but this too is slowly evening out.

I am at the same time more confident in my abilities and understanding of working in this context, and extremely aware of how little I actually know. I can lead a strategy sessions in the head office, chair meetings with partner organizations, run focus groups in the community (with a translator of course) and I can analyse reports and review proposals. But I've never done the leg work leading up to a strategy meeting (and am not entirely sure I know what this entails), I am a little intimidated by the idea of meeting with important donors and I have only ever written bits and pieces of the kinds of proposals and reports I am always analyzing. I wonder how I will feel two months from now when I've finished writing my department's strategy for the next three years, held several meetings with donors and organized a large consortium of partner organizations and am in the middle of writing a huge proposal for a very important grant? I'm sure there is more I could reflect on, but ironically enough, I've run out of time!

This has been another long post without pictures, so here is one of the Burundi countryside for you. I promise to have more in my next post!

O Canada!

I love the Olympics. During the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver I had the TV on whenever I was in the house, at times also having my computer open on the coffee table so I could watch one event online and one on the TV. The coffee shop I worked in at the time had a TV so when I wasn't making coffee I was watching the screen. If you look at my blog posts from that time, they are almost all about the Games. While I don't have to same emotional attachment to swimming, cycling and rowing that I do to figure skating, speed skating and hockey, I love watching the Summer Olympics as well. If I were in Canada right now you can be sure the TV would be on and I would be cheering for Clara Hughes, Alexander Despatie and all the rest.

Unfortunately I am not in Canada. I don't have a TV in my apartment here and my internet is much to slow to watch anything that way. I have caught a glimpse of a boxing match in a bar and a piece of the opening ceremonies at a restaurant but for the most part I have to content myself with reading about it all after the fact. Regardless, I am still cheering and enjoying the games in my own way. However, I will make sure that wherever I am in the world in 2014 I will have access to TV or fast internet so I can watch the Sochi Winter Games.

Anyone want to share their favourite Olympic moments so far? Are you watching the Games? Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me all about it! Go Canada!

Field Trip

This post is a little late, but better late than never!

Maybe it was just me, but when I first started studying International Development I had a particular image about what it would look like to work “in the field”. I pictured mud houses with grass roofs and sitting out on the Serengeti under a baobab tree doing a training/assessment/something or other. I pictured doing my work in the community with people, getting to know them and getting to see how they live their lives. Putting aside the fact that I have never actually worked in the Serengeti, development work, at least for me, has not often lived up to this idyllic image in my imagination. My work in Rwanda had the occasional elements of this, although not as much as I would have liked especially since I ended up living in Kigali and not in the community. Mostly our workshops were is conference centers and town halls and my interaction with the actual people our programs worked with was limited. My work here in Burundi is mostly done from behind a desk or in meetings with my colleagues and other organizations and this is definitely not what I pictured as a naïve undergrad.

But there are those moments, few and far between, that cause me to look around and think to myself “here it is. This is what I was supposed to be doing.” Last week was one of those moments for me.

We have been given funding for a peacebuilding project from a donor with the only requirement being that we work with Youth in some way. Ideally we create a project design in direct response to the needs of a community and then find funding, but sometimes donors come to us with funding and a specific request and this is what happened here. The community we chose to work in had been severely affected by the conflict and in many ways is still deeply divided. So despite responding to the request of the donors I think the project will be extremely important to address the needs of the community as well.

In order to design a project, we first need to understand the dynamics and context of the community. So we needed to do an assessment to find out what is already going on in the community in terms of peacebuilding and work with youth. And I got to go. Seriously you guys, this is exciting stuff. First of all, peacebuilding is something I’m passionate about, and it also got me out of my office, and out of Bujumbura. I found myself leading focus group discussion with teenage girls under a jacaranda tree (prettier than a baobab tree anyway) and talking about what they saw as dividers and causes of conflict in their community, and how were they involved in peacebuilding activities. These girls spoke about how they struggle to have their voices heard in a community that pays very little attention to youth and less to girls. They are smart, articulate, beautiful young women. They are the future of this tiny country and as we sat in the shade in the early morning on the top of a hill I felt privileged to listen to them and hear about their lives. When we were finished we walked over the hill a bit to watch a football game while my colleagues finished their discussion group with some teenage boys in a school room nearby.

Later I had another discussion with a group of girls from the Twa community. They were a little younger than the first group and many of them were not in school. Sitting inside a small house made of mud bricks with a dirt floor, I sometimes had to ask them to repeat themselves because the cow outside was so loud. As the day got hotter it was a relief to sit in the damp coolness of the little house. These girls were shy and not as outspoken, but they had some good ideas.

Now I am back in the office, holding meetings, writing reports and strategizing things. And while it can be frustrating, in its own way it is rewarding too. This is important so that the ‘real’ work in the community can be accomplished. As long as I can get out of the office and talk to people under a tree every once in a while, I think I’ll be just fine.

There and Back Again

I arrived back in Bujumbura late on Sunday evening after a great weekend away. I loved being back in Kigali where I know where things are and I can get around easily. It was so great to be able to get on a moto, tell them where I wanted to go, and get there. It seems like such a small thing being able to independently navigate a city, but here in Buja I am always needing a driver or a taxi and there is less freedom in that. I am grateful for the people who drive me around, but this past weekend I got to be free for a couple of days.

I also got to enjoy spending time with people I love. After a 6 hour bus ride and only minimal confusion at the border I arrived in Kigali at about 4pm. I had to buy a new SIM card since my Burundi one didn't work and I stopped in town at Bourbon for some tree tomato juice (so good!) and then headed over to the Kamari house. I had dinner Friday night with Jen and the kids, along with two other visitors. Jen and I didn't get to chat as much this weekend, but I'll go back soon and we can catch up then. Jen's kids are growing up quickly and I spent some time on Saturday afternoon reading stories to the youngest two. I read for more than an hour and started to loose my voice by the end of it. I also had a really good chat with Serge during lunch on Sunday. And of course I got to hang out with Mike and Anne. Mike and I had both traveled to Africa separately, he to Zimbabwe and I to South Africa, before we both came to Rwanda together in 2007. We are cousins but we are also good friends as well and it has been nice to have someone else in my family nearly as crazy as I am. We have both been back to Rwanda since that trip, separately, but this was the first time we were both there again at the same time, and this time with Anne. I wish we could have spent longer together, and I was a little jealous of their time spent at the refugee camp, but it was great just to sit together by the pool at Novatel having a drink together. Family is great.

Saturday morning I got to sleep in until 8:30. Bliss. Those of you who know me understand that I am not a morning person, but when you have to be at the office for 7:30 in the morning you have to at least pretend to be. I'm still working on that! I spent most of saturday hanging out in the city because Mike and Anne got a flat tire coming back from Kibuye. I had coffee, went to the bank, had a pedicure, had more coffee... it was lovely. Saturday evening I joined the team that Mike and Anne were with for dinner at Sole Luna, an italian restaurant, and enjoyed the view of Kigali from the hill.

Sunday I went to church at Eglise Vivante with the team. I got to see Dorah and Herve and Mama Deborah, all people I love and can't wait to see again. Next time I go to Kigali I will have to make plans to see them more. In the afternoon we took the team to the memorials. I have been to these countless times but they never stop affecting me. I don't often look at Rwanda in the context of the genocide anymore - I know too much of it's resurrection to focus on that horrible time of death, but it is important to stop and remember. It is important that people understand what happened and to see and feel and smell it. The memorials in Nyamata and Ntarama have an eery quality to them, as if you can still smell the blood in the ground.

I used to work in Nyamata when I worked there with World Vision. Driving through on the bus into Kigali and again to the memorial I was struck by how much had changed. There is a new market, new buildings, new street lights, a bank with an atm and more paved roads. It has grown and it is cleaner and nicer looking. I wondered how much of it was cosmetic and how many of the poor people we worked with were actually doing better as well.

Instead of taking the bus back to Buja I flew. It was worth the money to have the extra time with Mike and Anne. Now I am back in Buja and work is getting busy. We are working on a new job description for me and I have lots going on. Yesterday as I was about to leave the office I got word that I was supposed to go to the field in the morning and would be staying there for three days. Surprise! So I am in the office this morning getting ready to go. I'm looking forward to getting out of my office and away from my desk, working with actual people in actual communities where we are trying to help. We'll be working on a bit of an assessment and preparation for a proposal we're working on. Much more exciting than working on reports and answering emails at my desk! I hope to have some pictures and stories to post when I get back.

Kigali bound

I am just about to leave to catch a bus to Kigali. The bus ride will be at least 6 hours, but I am so excited for the end of it. I feel a little like I'm going home for the weekend. I get to spend the next couple of days with friends and family, real and adopted, in a city and country I love. I'm looking forward to relaxing, having tea with Jen and catching up with the Kamari's. I hope to see Dorah at some point too. I am also looking forward to spending time with my cousin Mike and his wife Anne. They are in Kigali at the moment on a Mission's Trip, which is what first brought me to Rwanda 5 years ago. I can't wait to be with family!

In Rememberance

In some ways it really is a small world, but when your family is thousands of kilometers away and something sad happens, the world seems achingly huge. My grandfather died this weekend.

He was diagnosed with cancer a year and a half ago but went into remission and had been doing better. Recently he had started getting worse again, with a series of infections and having a lot of pain in his back. The cancer was back. He was admitted into hospice only about a week ago, and this weekend he passed away. We celebrated my Dad’s 60^th birthday the last weekend I was home in Canada, and my grandpa was well enough to come. It was cold and rainy so he sat inside near the patio door with a blanket and held court while people came to visit with him. It was a really good day.

My sister sent me a text message today at 4am (I don’t think she was thinking about the time difference, or that I use my phone as an alarm) telling me that she is going to say something at the funeral on Wednesday, and was there anything I wanted her to say on my behalf.

So, I've been thinking about him, and about what I would say if I were there. I'm really not sure. I've been thinking about how I'm glad I got to go visit with him after my dentist appointment in June. My dentist is in the same small town where he lived. I also think about when I hugged him goodbye at dad's birthday party. He held on longer and squeezed tighter than normal. I told him I would come see him when I was home in September.

I've also been thinking a lot about his hands. I remember as a kid thinking he had big, strong hands. He had an electrician's hands; a carpenter's hands; a gardener's hands. I have memories of holding his hand as a child. I remember taking his hand at my Aunt Rhonda's funeral. I think about how he squeezed my hand tight when he arrived at dad's birthday party just before I left to come here to Burundi.

I don't know what I would say if I were able to be there. I've been thinking about how much he loved, how much he was loved. And I've been thinking about how full of joy he must be right now, in heaven with Grandma and Beulah and Aunt Rhonda. With Jesus, where there is no more pain and no more cancer, where his hands are once again strong and he is whole. And as I think about that, I am still sad, but I am also comforted and at peace.

Because cancer has not won, death is not the victor. Love has won, through the blood of Christ. Jesus is the victor. So while he will be missed, he is not lost. He is safe in the arms of our Saviour, held in the hands of another Carpenter. And although I am another world away and can’t be with my family, I am also safe and at peace in the arms of my Saviour. All of a sudden the size of the world does not seem to matter as much as the size of my God and the strength of his arms.

Grocery Shopping - this is how we do it.

On the way home from Kirundo we stopped to do some grocery shopping, Burundi style.

vegetable stand on the side of the road

I bought all of this, and the basket it came in for about $8

Now, to figure out how to use this all up before it goes bad! Yum.

Long Weekends and Boat Rides

This long weekend I got a chance to leave Bujumbura and go ‘up country’. (Anywhere that is not Bujumbura is considered upcountry). I had a meeting my first week here with someone from the Spanish Red Cross about a grant that may or may not be announced by a large donor sometime in the next couple of months. The meeting went well, but the best outcome was that I made a new friend. Monique is originally from Peru and has worked in Burundi for two years. She has been an invaluable guide and companion since we met and I will be very sad to see her go when her contract is up at the end of August.

Monique and I, along with another Red Cross worker Maren, hired a Red Cross driver to take us up to the province of Kirundo on the Rwandan border. We were met there by Maren’s Rwandan boyfriend and together we had a really relaxing and enjoyable time.  We got to celebrate Canada Day and Burundi Independence Day by the lake. The trip up to Kirundo takes about 3 and a half hours and it gave us a great opportunity to absorb some of the beautiful scenery. This country is stunningly beautiful. Bujumbura is in a flat valley and the road out of the city is a breath-taking, heart stopping winding trail up the mountains. The vibrant red of the earth contrasted against the green of the countryside as the road rises and falls with the winding hills. The banana trees, the sorghum crops and coffee trees dotting the landscape and rice patties in the valleys give the impression of a lush and fertile land. It is the dry season now and so there is a wilted, muted quality to the green, as if there is a layer of dust over everything.

In the city it can be easy to overlook the full extent of the poverty in this country. Along the road in the rural areas it is at times painfully obvious. The tiny, shabby houses; the thin cows and goats with their ribs showing, the children playing by the road dressed in dirty clothes with their stomachs sticking out like something out of one of those commercials on TV that I hate so much. There is poverty here and there is hardship. But there is more than that and it would be unfair to the industry and spirit of the people here if I stopped at describing the heartbreaking poverty.  Driving through the countryside you can see everyday life going on as you pass by. People working in their fields, weeding and hoeing and watering their crops. Bricks are being made, some out of the mud and some out of cement, to feed the need created by the construction going on all over the country. Slate and rock have been dug up and carried to the road to be picked up by trucks. Carpentry, weaving and other crafts are available for sale along the road. There is a new private coffee company, cell phone towers, road construction and a factory for sunflower oil. The countryside is not a quiet, relaxing place. These people work hard.

We spent the weekend with some nuns on the shores of a lack just outside of the town of Kirundo, which is the main city in the province of Kirundo. We had breakfast by the lake, dinner away from the lake to avoid the worst of the mosquitos and we went to bed to the sound of the crickets, birds and frogs. Saturday we went to another lake, lac d'oiseau, and paid two boats to take us around the lake and over to an island. It was relaxing and beautiful and I'll let the pictures do the talking since this post is already long enough! Enjoy.

The Burundi version of a canoe

In some ways it reminded me of lakes at home in Canada....

...except the trees were a little different.

Two boats of Muzungus out in the sun