I wish I was more like Paul

... but not the apostle Paul. (Although that too...)

I was just reading Paul's most recent post about how happy he is with where his life is right now. I know Paul likes to hear this no matter what, and probably thinks people say it more often than we actually do, but I wish I was more like Paul. I would really like to be able to say so confidently that I am happy with where my life is. But I'm not. I mean, I am content enough and I am not miserable or anything, but I get frustrated when I think about where I want to be and where I am now. There seems to be a huge fault line between the two and I can't see how I am going to get from here to there.

I was talking about this with my small group the other night and I think a big part of what is discouraging me is that I was so sure that I knew, or at least had some inkling, of where God was leading me. And now I am not going in that direction and I am not sure if it is because God is taking me somewhere else first or because I am missing what He is trying to do to get me there.

I wish life came with road signs. Signs like "Detour ahead" or "bumpy road, next 5km" would be really helpful! I think signs like "The Place you want to be, 32kms" or "GO LEFT!!!" would make life easier! Of course then there are fewer surprises, but I know a lot of people who drive without reading the signs, so if you wanted surprises you could just do that. Or maybe there are road signs and I am one of those drivers. Sigh.

Wherever God is taking me, I do know I need to work on my attitude. I have to make a more intentional effort to have a better attitude about what is going on in my life. Not easily done when what is going on is scanning food. A monkey could do my job.

Jesus as a model for social inclusion.

Today I was walking in Downtown kitchener on my way from one job to catch the bus to the other job, enjoying the sunshine and crisp weather. Downtown Kitchener is not exactly downtown Umtata or Toronto when it comes to shady characters, it is not even like downtown Winnipeg, but it has its moments. So walking down king st. I am usually alert to who is around me. Today there was a guy sitting on a curb, and he looked like the kind of guy to whom I would normally be extra alert. I walked past him and he called out to me, a simple and cheerful "hello, how are you?" He was smiling nicely and I responded with a simple "hello, great and you?". This was followed by general comments on the nice day and well wishes for a good day.

Tonight at the first meeting of my small group we talked about Luke 5 where Jesus heals the leper. We talked about including people in society, and the different things that cause people to be excluded or marginalized. My first impression of that guy this afternoon was of someone of whom I needed to be wary. My first impression was wrong and our conversation brightened my day. I would like to say more about this whole thing and have it match better to the academic quality of my title, but honestly, I am so tired I can't get the thoughts to come out properly. Two jobs is good for money, not so good for sanity and the expression of thought processes.

Good night

Big plans ruined

I was sleeping blissfully when the phone rang this morning and ruined all my plans for doing nothing. One of the girls at work was really really sick and could I please come in because they can't find anyone else. Boo. So, there went my plans of doing nothing!! After work I still managed to get to the library and I got my starbucks, but no pumpkin scone which was supposed to be the highlight of the day because scones aren't there in the afternoon. Suck.

Next weekend is the retreat for the college and career group at WMB so I have that to look forward to. Oh, and I guy I went to school with (K-OAC) came through my till and has been studying something similar to IDS. Usually people give me a blank stare when I tell them what I have been doing, but Ryan said, "oh, me too!"

Big plans for the Weekend!!

I have big plans for the weekend!! They are very exciting. I am sleeping in on Saturday! AND NOT WORKING. It is the first day in three weeks that I am not working anywhere. I do a little dance when I think about it. Plus, my friend Melissa who lives in Banff is coming to visit her new nephew and we get to see her too! So that is good. Now I just have tomorrow to get through, but I only work at one job, the one that doesn't involve scanning food continuously for hours on end, so that is good. Zehrs is not a bad job. It is just really really dull.

Tonight I went to a "party" with WMBs college and career, called regeneration or regen, and we dressed up like pirates, ran around the neighbourhood and played card games. It was fun. Then on the way home Pam's little sister was having a conversation with someone on her cell phone and the other person didn't think it was possible to have a party without drinking. Ang was trying to set them straight. It was an interesting conversation.

Wish I could talk about something interesting I have read recently or something, but I haven't read a book in a week. And this is ME we're talking about. So that is something else planned for saturday. But first I must go to the library. What book should I get? Any suggestions? SOmething good.

What is this? Laura is posting more than everyone?! Is the world ending?!

This post is really just to show that I am posting more than everyone else. Almost all of you have commented on your blogs at some point that I don't post. Well now I do! Yahoo.

I got up early this morning to finish my job application (see previous post) and I was getting discouraged because the job seems so different from what I have done before and I wasn't sure that they would take my application all that seriously. I think I would do a really good job, but how do they know that? Anyway, so I was getting a little discouraged but I emailed all the people that I have listed as references so that when/if they get phone calls they are not surprised. Ray Vanderzaag emailed me back and I was really encouraged that he thinks I can do the job. That is exciting! Someone besides me thinks I would be a good fit. So that made me happy.

Something else that made me happy was a discussion I had with a guy at work. Jamie is a packer who was hired at the same time as me at Zehrs and is in his second year in Global Studies which is essentially IDS.(Matchmakers don't get any ideas. Second year, read 19 years old. TOO YOUNG)Anyway, when Jamie packs for my till we chat about his classes and our opinions on things. It makes work almost fun. On Sunday evening he asked what I had been up to during the weekend and when I mentioned that I had been at church he started asking about it because he stopped going when he was a kid and might be interested in going again. It was cool. I haven't been in the non church bubble for so long I sort of forgot what it is like!

So that is all. You all have some posting to do to catch up to me!! :)

Ndethetha Kancinci isiXhosa

How is it September 18th? How has time gone by so quickly?! It has been a year since I left for SA. This time last year I was settling into my house in the village and trying to figure out what the hell was going on! Everything was overwhelming, I had no idea what was happening, where I was supposed to be or what was expected of me. By the time I left I still had little idea of what was happening or what was expected of me, but at least I figured out where to go! It has only been a year but it feels like so much more, and I have only been home three months but it feels longer and shorter. I am still dealing with how to live here and how to express what it is I learned and how I have changed.

I just wrote hell on my blog. I acutally had to think whether I should or not. Silly. Last night I was at Andrea's for an Amazing Race party and Pam said she didn't think she had ever heard me swear. I told her she isn't around me enough. About half an hour after she left I was clearing up glasses from the smoothies we had and I dropped one on a chair and it spilled and I swore under my breath. Or at least I thought it was under my breath but everyone heard me.

Now I have to finish the scary MCC application form before I go to work. I don't need school to practice my refined art of procrastination!

enchantment missing from your life? It's only $500.00 at Zehrs!

Well, I am working two jobs which is very nice because now I have money. To spend on coffee. To keep me awake and alert because I am tired. Because I am working two jobs. This coming week will be less hectic because I am only working three days at Arvato, but the last two weeks I was there for four plus I am zehrs five days and these over lap so last week I worked 53 hours. That is alot. But it may be more soon because I am applying for a third job. It is a job with MCC at a women's shelter in Kitchener. It is scary because it is sort of like what I studied and so could be considered a "real" job. I am filling out the application for MCC and I get to answer questions about the role Christian Community has had in my life and what is my response to the biblical call for nonviolence and stuff like that. Yahoo for being back in the menno world. :)

So, my life has consisted of doing phone interviews and leaving messages for people then taking the bus and then scanning food and entering codes. Though uneventful for the most part, these activities have the occasional interesting moments. The other day I phoned someone that sent us their resume and their answering machine picked up. It identified who the number belonged to and asked for a message. Then it said "please wait for the beep" .....this was followed by nearly a minute of "its a small world" type electronic music. I was confused, then surprised and then I burst out laughing so when it finally beeped I couldn't leave a message and had to call back and listen to the whole thing again, trying not to laugh so I could leave the stupid message.

Same day, at zehrs I didn't know the code for the already made roasted chicken so I asked another cashier who was packing for me. She said it was 5609. So I entered that. What came up was a $500.00 something or other called "enchantment." So I had to void it and I had to get a manager to void it for me. For future reference the chicken is 5619.

So, the moral of the story is, if you need some enchantment I know where you can get it cheap!!

Bad hair day

I woke up this morning and went to brush my teeth. I got quite the start when I looked in the mirror. To save time and let me sleep a little longer, I showered last night. And slept with wet hair. It is very humid here right now. All these factors added together had the result of me looking like medusa. No exaggeration. Weird curls flying in various directions, defying gravity. It was ... Interesting.

After applying Quite A Lot of Product and primping for awhile I got the Hair to behave and it actually looked quite nice. Then I got into the car and got a drive most of the way to work like usual and walked the ten minutes from Tim Hortons' to work at Arvado. I smiled cheerfully at the security guard and got a weird look. I pushed the elevator button, a little confused because the security guard is usually quite nice. The elevator arrived and as I stepped into the mirrored box my heart sunk. The extreme humidity had conspired to render all the Product in my hair useless. Medusa was back! I got off on my floor, stealthily ran to the bathroom, hiding behind cubicles, and attempted to rid myself of Medusa. While not quite as nice as my first attempt, the Hair behaved and I got through the remainder of the work day without any more Medusa impressions.

At five I left the office and walked the 2kms to the office where my sister and father work to get a ride home with my dad. I could feel my hair curling as I walked. My hair was possessed!! I thought for sure that I would be in full Medusa mode by the time I walked up to the office, but this time someone else had possessed my curly locks. Catching my reflection in the glass doors to the building I saw a rather scary sight.

Have you all seen the Friends episode where they all go to the Paleontology Convention in Barbados or wherever and it is raining and Monica's hair goes crazy?

And now I have my hair in a scarf the way they do in Africa so I can hide my crazy bad hair.

Fall is here!

I had a happy day today. I walked to work this morning and though I was a little late because of a house key fiasco, it was nice. It was cold and I had to wear a big comfy sweater over the "uniform from hell" (that is its official title) and the air was crisp and it smelled good. The sun was out so that was warm and it was really pretty. Then I worked for five hours and it was not very busy so that was nice. Yesterday was insano-rama x 100000. We had all 9 tills open and we all had lines of at least five carts long! This is what happens when all the students come back for two universities! But today was calm and nice. I had an old man come through my till and today was his 58th wedding anniversary! Cool. Then I walked home and it was still fall. Fall makes me happy, for many reasons. First, this is my first fall in five years with red leaves. This makes me very excited! I also love the way things smell and the air gets crisp and it tastes different or something. I think the sky is a different colour of blue in the fall. You get to wear comfy clothes but no long underwear or anything and it is a good time of year. I am even looking forward to winter. People tell me I am crazy, and there are some days that I try to plot a way back to SA so I can skip winter again, but I like snow. It will be nice to have packing snow all the time. I am too old for making snow people very often, and will be too busy with two, maybe three jobs, but I like that it is possible to make one anytime I want. And firing snowballs at my sisters back is nice too. :)

So I got home from my happy walk and I had a nice nap with my cat. Then we ate a really yummy roast for supper and tomorrow I am making pilgram soup with the left over broth. Yum.

So that is my happy day. Yahoo.

A Pedestrian's Plea.

I, like Steph, have been doing a lot of walking around KW this summer. Though I have access to a car more often than Steph, I still walk to work most days, and when I am working at Pam's office downtown I walk between bus stops. Steph has given a small rant about being a pedestrian already, but let me add to it.I hate construction workers. I was walking to work yesterday morning and there was construction on the highway overpass that is between my house and Zehrs. There is no other way for me to get to work, unless I want to walk another 6km out of my way. The construction workers blocked the sidewalk on one side of the road and were blowing smelly tar smoke at the other side. This is a very busy street so I couldn't just walk on the road. They could have stopped blowing the smelly smoke for the 45 seconds it took me to walk by, but they just looked at me and kept going. I got to work coughing and smelling like tar. Not a very good start to the day!

Don't drink and drive!!

So, I know I will get bugged for not posting for so long, but the internet was down at my house and with my dad off gallivanting in Pennsylvania with my mom, I had no one to fix it magically. So I had to fix it myself. I finally did! I am great. So that is why no posting.

Another weird story about my neighbourhood. I left this morning at 6:30am so I had time to go to Timmy's before I started work at 7am (on a saturday, this is very painful for me). I was driving down my street and I saw a bike on the side of the road and my first thought was "it isn't garbage day, so why is there garbage there?" Well, it wasn't garbage. It was a person. I nearly had a heart attack because I thought someone had been hit by a car or something so I stoppped and ran over. I was really really scared!! But then I got to the guy, a kid of about 16 or 17, and I realized that he was snoring. I tried to wake him up, but I couldn't. He smelled like beer. I finally put it all together (it took awhile because my mind was working on fear!) and realized that this kid had been so drunk that he passed out while riding his bike home sometime during the night! Since the guy wasn't bleeding and the snoring sounded pretty healthy, I moved the bike off the road and went on my way to work. My hands stopped shaking about an hour later!

That is the most exciting this to happen this week. Oh, and I painted my parents living room with my sister and now I have to figure out how to put all the furniture back and they get home tomorrow. Yahoo.

Oh! And Annemarie called me tonight and she is probably coming to visit! I was in the middle of commenting on Steph's blog when she called, so that is why the randomness of that comment. Yahoo!!!