I wish I was more like Paul

... but not the apostle Paul. (Although that too...)

I was just reading Paul's most recent post about how happy he is with where his life is right now. I know Paul likes to hear this no matter what, and probably thinks people say it more often than we actually do, but I wish I was more like Paul. I would really like to be able to say so confidently that I am happy with where my life is. But I'm not. I mean, I am content enough and I am not miserable or anything, but I get frustrated when I think about where I want to be and where I am now. There seems to be a huge fault line between the two and I can't see how I am going to get from here to there.

I was talking about this with my small group the other night and I think a big part of what is discouraging me is that I was so sure that I knew, or at least had some inkling, of where God was leading me. And now I am not going in that direction and I am not sure if it is because God is taking me somewhere else first or because I am missing what He is trying to do to get me there.

I wish life came with road signs. Signs like "Detour ahead" or "bumpy road, next 5km" would be really helpful! I think signs like "The Place you want to be, 32kms" or "GO LEFT!!!" would make life easier! Of course then there are fewer surprises, but I know a lot of people who drive without reading the signs, so if you wanted surprises you could just do that. Or maybe there are road signs and I am one of those drivers. Sigh.

Wherever God is taking me, I do know I need to work on my attitude. I have to make a more intentional effort to have a better attitude about what is going on in my life. Not easily done when what is going on is scanning food. A monkey could do my job.