I wish I was more like Paul

... but not the apostle Paul. (Although that too...)

I was just reading Paul's most recent post about how happy he is with where his life is right now. I know Paul likes to hear this no matter what, and probably thinks people say it more often than we actually do, but I wish I was more like Paul. I would really like to be able to say so confidently that I am happy with where my life is. But I'm not. I mean, I am content enough and I am not miserable or anything, but I get frustrated when I think about where I want to be and where I am now. There seems to be a huge fault line between the two and I can't see how I am going to get from here to there.

I was talking about this with my small group the other night and I think a big part of what is discouraging me is that I was so sure that I knew, or at least had some inkling, of where God was leading me. And now I am not going in that direction and I am not sure if it is because God is taking me somewhere else first or because I am missing what He is trying to do to get me there.

I wish life came with road signs. Signs like "Detour ahead" or "bumpy road, next 5km" would be really helpful! I think signs like "The Place you want to be, 32kms" or "GO LEFT!!!" would make life easier! Of course then there are fewer surprises, but I know a lot of people who drive without reading the signs, so if you wanted surprises you could just do that. Or maybe there are road signs and I am one of those drivers. Sigh.

Wherever God is taking me, I do know I need to work on my attitude. I have to make a more intentional effort to have a better attitude about what is going on in my life. Not easily done when what is going on is scanning food. A monkey could do my job.

Jesus as a model for social inclusion.

Today I was walking in Downtown kitchener on my way from one job to catch the bus to the other job, enjoying the sunshine and crisp weather. Downtown Kitchener is not exactly downtown Umtata or Toronto when it comes to shady characters, it is not even like downtown Winnipeg, but it has its moments. So walking down king st. I am usually alert to who is around me. Today there was a guy sitting on a curb, and he looked like the kind of guy to whom I would normally be extra alert. I walked past him and he called out to me, a simple and cheerful "hello, how are you?" He was smiling nicely and I responded with a simple "hello, great and you?". This was followed by general comments on the nice day and well wishes for a good day.

Tonight at the first meeting of my small group we talked about Luke 5 where Jesus heals the leper. We talked about including people in society, and the different things that cause people to be excluded or marginalized. My first impression of that guy this afternoon was of someone of whom I needed to be wary. My first impression was wrong and our conversation brightened my day. I would like to say more about this whole thing and have it match better to the academic quality of my title, but honestly, I am so tired I can't get the thoughts to come out properly. Two jobs is good for money, not so good for sanity and the expression of thought processes.

Good night

Big plans ruined

I was sleeping blissfully when the phone rang this morning and ruined all my plans for doing nothing. One of the girls at work was really really sick and could I please come in because they can't find anyone else. Boo. So, there went my plans of doing nothing!! After work I still managed to get to the library and I got my starbucks, but no pumpkin scone which was supposed to be the highlight of the day because scones aren't there in the afternoon. Suck.

Next weekend is the retreat for the college and career group at WMB so I have that to look forward to. Oh, and I guy I went to school with (K-OAC) came through my till and has been studying something similar to IDS. Usually people give me a blank stare when I tell them what I have been doing, but Ryan said, "oh, me too!"

Big plans for the Weekend!!

I have big plans for the weekend!! They are very exciting. I am sleeping in on Saturday! AND NOT WORKING. It is the first day in three weeks that I am not working anywhere. I do a little dance when I think about it. Plus, my friend Melissa who lives in Banff is coming to visit her new nephew and we get to see her too! So that is good. Now I just have tomorrow to get through, but I only work at one job, the one that doesn't involve scanning food continuously for hours on end, so that is good. Zehrs is not a bad job. It is just really really dull.

Tonight I went to a "party" with WMBs college and career, called regeneration or regen, and we dressed up like pirates, ran around the neighbourhood and played card games. It was fun. Then on the way home Pam's little sister was having a conversation with someone on her cell phone and the other person didn't think it was possible to have a party without drinking. Ang was trying to set them straight. It was an interesting conversation.

Wish I could talk about something interesting I have read recently or something, but I haven't read a book in a week. And this is ME we're talking about. So that is something else planned for saturday. But first I must go to the library. What book should I get? Any suggestions? SOmething good.