Like Sand Through the Hourglass....

It is August 8th. Already. I've been in Burundi for two whole months - when did this happen? Time is a funny thing, we all know this, but it is amazing to me that it has gone by so quickly. Of course looking back there are times when it did not feel like it was going quickly and in some ways my first weeks here seem like they happened to someone else. And yet, here I am a third of the way through my time here in Burundi and one month from my trip home for my Best Friend's wedding.

I learned long ago that to focus too much on time is not a good thing when you are away from home. If you are not enjoying it, then counting the days makes it seem even longer. You think you are giving yourself something to look forward to (x many days/weeks until you go home to hot showers, electricity and some random food you've been craving!) but it actually makes things go more slowly then at the end you realize you've missed out on a lot because you were so focused on counting days. If you are enjoying it then focusing too much on time makes it go by even faster (you only have x days/weeks left! So much left to do and see in such a short time!!) and it is hard to just sit back and absorb the experiences. Either way you are in danger of missing your life because you are so concerned with how quickly it passes you by. I think this applies to "real" life as well, but when you are overseas it takes on a different quality.

There is an exception to this not focusing on time however. Once in awhile, even on a regular basis, it is important to take time to reflect. I have been very busy over the last week so I haven't had a whole lot of time to do this, but I've had a few moments where I've been able to reflect on what I've seen, experienced and accomplished over the last two months. I feel pretty at home in Bujumbura and I am fairly confident in my ability to find what I need on a daily basis. (Except light bulbs. The ones in my apartment are the long florescent ones but I haven't found the right ones anywhere yet. Either they are too long or two short. This is becoming annoying since the light bulb in my kitchen died two days after I moved in. So I either have to cook in the dark or before 6pm when it gets dark outside. But I digress) I have the places I go to buy this and that, I have my routes to and from the office and I have the places I walk to on the weekends. The city is familiar and even comfortable. I have not been very social here but I have a couple of good friends and I am finding that I like my own company just fine most of the time. Granted, three of these friends are leaving at the end of August or the beginning of September, but then I'll just have to make new ones. Work is settling down at the same time as it is getting busier. I am confident in (most) of what is expected of me now and I feel like I know what I'm doing. My first couple of weeks were frustrating and not terrific for my self confidence, but this was mostly because of the transition in the office and a lack of leadership, not really because of anything I was or was not doing. This is slowly settling into place. I still struggle with either being too busy, or not having enough to fill my day, but this too is slowly evening out.

I am at the same time more confident in my abilities and understanding of working in this context, and extremely aware of how little I actually know. I can lead a strategy sessions in the head office, chair meetings with partner organizations, run focus groups in the community (with a translator of course) and I can analyse reports and review proposals. But I've never done the leg work leading up to a strategy meeting (and am not entirely sure I know what this entails), I am a little intimidated by the idea of meeting with important donors and I have only ever written bits and pieces of the kinds of proposals and reports I am always analyzing. I wonder how I will feel two months from now when I've finished writing my department's strategy for the next three years, held several meetings with donors and organized a large consortium of partner organizations and am in the middle of writing a huge proposal for a very important grant? I'm sure there is more I could reflect on, but ironically enough, I've run out of time!

This has been another long post without pictures, so here is one of the Burundi countryside for you. I promise to have more in my next post!

O Canada!

I love the Olympics. During the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver I had the TV on whenever I was in the house, at times also having my computer open on the coffee table so I could watch one event online and one on the TV. The coffee shop I worked in at the time had a TV so when I wasn't making coffee I was watching the screen. If you look at my blog posts from that time, they are almost all about the Games. While I don't have to same emotional attachment to swimming, cycling and rowing that I do to figure skating, speed skating and hockey, I love watching the Summer Olympics as well. If I were in Canada right now you can be sure the TV would be on and I would be cheering for Clara Hughes, Alexander Despatie and all the rest.

Unfortunately I am not in Canada. I don't have a TV in my apartment here and my internet is much to slow to watch anything that way. I have caught a glimpse of a boxing match in a bar and a piece of the opening ceremonies at a restaurant but for the most part I have to content myself with reading about it all after the fact. Regardless, I am still cheering and enjoying the games in my own way. However, I will make sure that wherever I am in the world in 2014 I will have access to TV or fast internet so I can watch the Sochi Winter Games.

Anyone want to share their favourite Olympic moments so far? Are you watching the Games? Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me all about it! Go Canada!

Field Trip

This post is a little late, but better late than never!

Maybe it was just me, but when I first started studying International Development I had a particular image about what it would look like to work “in the field”. I pictured mud houses with grass roofs and sitting out on the Serengeti under a baobab tree doing a training/assessment/something or other. I pictured doing my work in the community with people, getting to know them and getting to see how they live their lives. Putting aside the fact that I have never actually worked in the Serengeti, development work, at least for me, has not often lived up to this idyllic image in my imagination. My work in Rwanda had the occasional elements of this, although not as much as I would have liked especially since I ended up living in Kigali and not in the community. Mostly our workshops were is conference centers and town halls and my interaction with the actual people our programs worked with was limited. My work here in Burundi is mostly done from behind a desk or in meetings with my colleagues and other organizations and this is definitely not what I pictured as a naïve undergrad.

But there are those moments, few and far between, that cause me to look around and think to myself “here it is. This is what I was supposed to be doing.” Last week was one of those moments for me.

We have been given funding for a peacebuilding project from a donor with the only requirement being that we work with Youth in some way. Ideally we create a project design in direct response to the needs of a community and then find funding, but sometimes donors come to us with funding and a specific request and this is what happened here. The community we chose to work in had been severely affected by the conflict and in many ways is still deeply divided. So despite responding to the request of the donors I think the project will be extremely important to address the needs of the community as well.

In order to design a project, we first need to understand the dynamics and context of the community. So we needed to do an assessment to find out what is already going on in the community in terms of peacebuilding and work with youth. And I got to go. Seriously you guys, this is exciting stuff. First of all, peacebuilding is something I’m passionate about, and it also got me out of my office, and out of Bujumbura. I found myself leading focus group discussion with teenage girls under a jacaranda tree (prettier than a baobab tree anyway) and talking about what they saw as dividers and causes of conflict in their community, and how were they involved in peacebuilding activities. These girls spoke about how they struggle to have their voices heard in a community that pays very little attention to youth and less to girls. They are smart, articulate, beautiful young women. They are the future of this tiny country and as we sat in the shade in the early morning on the top of a hill I felt privileged to listen to them and hear about their lives. When we were finished we walked over the hill a bit to watch a football game while my colleagues finished their discussion group with some teenage boys in a school room nearby.

Later I had another discussion with a group of girls from the Twa community. They were a little younger than the first group and many of them were not in school. Sitting inside a small house made of mud bricks with a dirt floor, I sometimes had to ask them to repeat themselves because the cow outside was so loud. As the day got hotter it was a relief to sit in the damp coolness of the little house. These girls were shy and not as outspoken, but they had some good ideas.

Now I am back in the office, holding meetings, writing reports and strategizing things. And while it can be frustrating, in its own way it is rewarding too. This is important so that the ‘real’ work in the community can be accomplished. As long as I can get out of the office and talk to people under a tree every once in a while, I think I’ll be just fine.

There and Back Again

I arrived back in Bujumbura late on Sunday evening after a great weekend away. I loved being back in Kigali where I know where things are and I can get around easily. It was so great to be able to get on a moto, tell them where I wanted to go, and get there. It seems like such a small thing being able to independently navigate a city, but here in Buja I am always needing a driver or a taxi and there is less freedom in that. I am grateful for the people who drive me around, but this past weekend I got to be free for a couple of days.

I also got to enjoy spending time with people I love. After a 6 hour bus ride and only minimal confusion at the border I arrived in Kigali at about 4pm. I had to buy a new SIM card since my Burundi one didn't work and I stopped in town at Bourbon for some tree tomato juice (so good!) and then headed over to the Kamari house. I had dinner Friday night with Jen and the kids, along with two other visitors. Jen and I didn't get to chat as much this weekend, but I'll go back soon and we can catch up then. Jen's kids are growing up quickly and I spent some time on Saturday afternoon reading stories to the youngest two. I read for more than an hour and started to loose my voice by the end of it. I also had a really good chat with Serge during lunch on Sunday. And of course I got to hang out with Mike and Anne. Mike and I had both traveled to Africa separately, he to Zimbabwe and I to South Africa, before we both came to Rwanda together in 2007. We are cousins but we are also good friends as well and it has been nice to have someone else in my family nearly as crazy as I am. We have both been back to Rwanda since that trip, separately, but this was the first time we were both there again at the same time, and this time with Anne. I wish we could have spent longer together, and I was a little jealous of their time spent at the refugee camp, but it was great just to sit together by the pool at Novatel having a drink together. Family is great.

Saturday morning I got to sleep in until 8:30. Bliss. Those of you who know me understand that I am not a morning person, but when you have to be at the office for 7:30 in the morning you have to at least pretend to be. I'm still working on that! I spent most of saturday hanging out in the city because Mike and Anne got a flat tire coming back from Kibuye. I had coffee, went to the bank, had a pedicure, had more coffee... it was lovely. Saturday evening I joined the team that Mike and Anne were with for dinner at Sole Luna, an italian restaurant, and enjoyed the view of Kigali from the hill.

Sunday I went to church at Eglise Vivante with the team. I got to see Dorah and Herve and Mama Deborah, all people I love and can't wait to see again. Next time I go to Kigali I will have to make plans to see them more. In the afternoon we took the team to the memorials. I have been to these countless times but they never stop affecting me. I don't often look at Rwanda in the context of the genocide anymore - I know too much of it's resurrection to focus on that horrible time of death, but it is important to stop and remember. It is important that people understand what happened and to see and feel and smell it. The memorials in Nyamata and Ntarama have an eery quality to them, as if you can still smell the blood in the ground.

I used to work in Nyamata when I worked there with World Vision. Driving through on the bus into Kigali and again to the memorial I was struck by how much had changed. There is a new market, new buildings, new street lights, a bank with an atm and more paved roads. It has grown and it is cleaner and nicer looking. I wondered how much of it was cosmetic and how many of the poor people we worked with were actually doing better as well.

Instead of taking the bus back to Buja I flew. It was worth the money to have the extra time with Mike and Anne. Now I am back in Buja and work is getting busy. We are working on a new job description for me and I have lots going on. Yesterday as I was about to leave the office I got word that I was supposed to go to the field in the morning and would be staying there for three days. Surprise! So I am in the office this morning getting ready to go. I'm looking forward to getting out of my office and away from my desk, working with actual people in actual communities where we are trying to help. We'll be working on a bit of an assessment and preparation for a proposal we're working on. Much more exciting than working on reports and answering emails at my desk! I hope to have some pictures and stories to post when I get back.