It's about time...

I have actually missed posting on my blog. It has been months since I last posted, and though I have occastionally started composing a post I never finished because I realized that I have nothing interesting to say. But today I decided to post anyway.

I still don't have a job and am quickly losing any motivation to send out resumes and cover letters since they don't seem to be doing any good. I have heard rumours that a position I want at WV may soon be back on the books, but after 7 months I am not holding my breath.

I am amazed at how much this unemployment thing is affecting me. I know intellectually that my identity and worth is not tied to my employment status but the rest of me is having trouble remembering that. Seven months. That is how long I lived in Rwanda. It is almost as long as I worked for WV in Mississauga. In my new year's post I talked about a snow covered path that I was waiting for God to show me. I am still trudging through the same snow and I still can't see what is infront of me. Did I miss something along the way? I am getting restless and frustrated and I am having to try harder and harder to remember to be patient. Trusting and waiting are getting really old and I can't help but ask God "Really? I'm STILL waiting? Really?!" My conversations with God are getting more intense. I know God can handle my anger and I am relating to the Fray's "I Found God" a little too well these days. "Waiting by the telephone, but it never rang - all I needed was I call but it never came." But I also know with great certainty that God is Good, that he is Faithful and that he has a plan. So even in the midst of my frustration and mounting depression over this situation, I know and trust that he is in control.

In the midst of this, I am trying to enjoy summer while it is here. I've been to two weddings, a couple of my friends have had, or are having, babies (hang in there Amp!!)and I've spent a lot of time with friends and family. I've been playing Ultimate frisbee every sunday afternoon, I helped with our church's VBS program and I am considering going up to camp for a week next month since they still need cabin leaders. I am enjoying my vegetable garden which is growing into a huge jungle of tomatoe and zucchini plants and I am diligently checking a dozen different websites for job opportunities and sending out dozens of resumes. I got to reconnect with my friend Melissa last week while she was in town for our friend's wedding and she helped me put a few things in perspective. I went camping in June and am hoping for at least one more trip this summer. So not everything is frustrating or depressing. Hopefully I will have more cheerful posts in the near future and not wait another three months!